Tales of fruit and cake.

We're Moving!

2011-07-21T22:35:00.002-04:00

To Wordpress!

I'm sad to let go of my "HiMyNameIsJack" url, but seriously I have 2 kids. Henry needs love too!

So here we are:

http://talesoffruitandcake.wordpress.com

I hope you'll follow me... and be patient during this time of transition! Who knows how long it will take!

If you have a wordpress blog, please share any helpful advice! I'd love to hear it!

Harry Potter

2011-07-21T06:14:00.001-04:00

Was pure magic! Spoiler alert, but honestly- shame on you if you don't know how the saga ends. Have you been living under a rock?! Seriously?!

So Harry and I met back during the winter break of my freshman year of college (1999-2000). I was working at Barnes and Noble (which, in case you're reading this in 2015, was something called a bookstore... they used to sell books in actual brick and mortar stores, once upon a time.) Speaking of, Once upon a time... so it was a cold winter and I was working as a barista in the coffee shop of B&N and I noticed a book on a shelf of the New York Times best seller list (this was before they had to make the children's best seller list because Tom Clancy and Barbra Kingsolver got tired of being beaten out by some, scoff, children's author.

Harry Potter.

I had an employee discount. What could it hurt?

It took me about a week to read the first book. I just could not get into it. The writing was good but I preferred female heroines, and the only interesting female character, Hermione, was an insufferable know-it-all. Then the troll went into the 3rd floor bathroom on Halloween and I was hooked. I read the 3 books (that's all that was out) during breaks at work, walking around my parents house, sitting at traffic lights. I cannot accurately describe the devastation when I realised that the 4th book hadn't been released yet. Not only that but they didn't have a release date. Agony.

For books 4-7 I found myself at midnight release parties. By the release of the 7th I was married and had a mortgage. But like all the releases before that I grabbed my custom ordered wand and my Gryffindor tee and mussed my hair a bit to pay homage to the brainy and bitchin-cool Hermione and hung out with tweens, housewives and nerdy adults and waited in line so I could start reading 8 hours before everyone else.

I have since packed up the Harry Potter posters, and the figurines (except the snow globe) but my 3 copies of the series American publication, British publication and French publication all remain on the shelves. As soon as the first hint of fall pushes against the summer heat I find myself picking up The Philosophers Stone and starting a new. Each time I hear the sounds of the train whistle, smell the warm butterbeer and feel the whipping wind at a Quidditch match.

I love these books and these characters so deeply. The movies are good, but as with all movies there are subtle (and sometimes not so subtle ::cough:: House Elf Liberation Front ::cough::) changes made as screenwriters make their own artistic additions. The movies are visually magnificent and although things are not as I pictured them, how could they be? Art is always open to interpretation.

However. There are a few things that happened in the second movie that I'm not pleased about, I still loved it, and cried like a baby, but these oversights seem to me to be oversights, they detract from the story.

1. You do not see Fred die. The death of Fred Weasley is HUGE and to merely happen upon the Weasley family and look down to see a twin and hear someone say "Fred" between sobs does not do justice to the magnitude of that loss. He was fighting side-by-side with his brother Percy, who had just been welcomed back into the fold. He was cracking a joke, as the twins often did, when he died. A smile frozen forever on his face. The movie skips all that. Body. Floor. Crowd of Weasleys.

2. Voldemort/Tom Riddle dissolves when he dies, like Professor Xavier when Jean Grey goes all Dark Phoenix. Poof. Also, Harry curses him which causes him to go poof. Wrong and wrong. Tom Riddle's body lays pathetic and empty and proof positive to the Death Eaters that it is over at the end of the book. For how grand and bad-ass he was while he was torturing mudbloods and muggles he died the same death everyone else dies. Body there, you gone. Also, Harry Expelliarmused Tom while Tom simultaneously tried to Avada Kedavra Harry and the simple non-violent disarming spell caused Voldemort's spell to bounce back, thus causing him to basically kill himself. In the movie Harry looks like the aggressor, and it's not true to who Harry is.

3. No one is watching Harry and Lord VD fight. They walk alone. This makes not ONE lick of sense to me. First because in the book everyone is watching Harry and VD go at it, and second because as I said in #2 The Dark Lord goes poof when he dies. So what's Harry going to do, rush back into the castle and go "Hey guys, I did it! I killed him. It's over, come look..... See that that fleck of dust, that little pile of ash blowing away, that was Tom." He disappeared before. Does anyone remember what happened then? He. Came. Back.
I'm just saying.

So, I loved it. I will totally be asking for the boxed set on Blue Ray for Christmas, but I'm hoping for some extended cuts and some alternate scenes.

Thank you, J. K., for making life feel like magic. Thank you, Harry, for saving the world. And thank you, Hermione, for being a total rocking bad-ass chick! (Thanks Ron, for having a hot sister.)

Sometimes I Love the Internet

2011-07-20T18:37:00.003-04:00

Seriously, sometimes the Internet is awesome! (Sometimes it's like a heroin addiction, but that's another topic for another day).

So I posted and was all "Woe is me," which I do because it helps me process and let go of my own negative feelings. But I also share the bad stuff because I get e-mail messages from strangers, Facebook messages from friends and comments from readers all saying the same thing "I feel the same way, I'm thinking about getting help, thank you for sharing your story." More than hearing myself talk I like knowing that my words are reaching people and teaching them or supporting them, it's a pretty sweet deal.

Ahywho, so Melissa commented on my blog and was like "Sounds like Herx" it never in a million years would have occurred to me that the emotional symptoms could be caused by a system wide reaction like that. I love that sometimes I help people because of the interwebs and sometimes people help me. I also know that 21 days isn't always successful in treating Lyme so I'm watching out, and being careful, but if I have to go back on doxy I'd rather do it in the fall so I'm content to drag my feet for now. I digress, so I was feeling down and then the next morning I woke up and felt fine. Like totally, completely, I need to clean my house, and wear make up, and exercise, because I've really let it all go, fine! My friends have good things going on and I'm content in my own life so I can genuinely be all squee for them. Cancer still sucks a big one, but I haven't gone to Hogwarts, I'm just detoxing so I can't make that one go away.

My dining room table is still a mess right now, but that's because we just finished dinner homemade pizza, not frozen- another indicator that I have successfully removed my head from my ass. But as it turns out my head wasn't where I thought it was, I was detoxing. Epsom salt bath, twisting yoga poses, drink lots of water, here I come!!

All of a sudden I'm the pinnacle of productive living and sanity and my husband is lazy and coo-coo for cocoa puffs by comparison. It's not his fault, he's empathetic, I may have dragged him down a bit, but I can also lift him up. I'm cool like that.

I feel like I'm beind stalked.

2011-07-19T11:09:00.002-04:00

I came home from dropping Jack off at camp and I found this little a-hole hanging out at my front door. Great. Deer tick. Just great.

This photo was taken about 3 seconds before I grabbed a knife and cut it in half. I know yoga teaches non-violence (and I'm trying to be non-violent), but eff that! I make an exception for ticks, especially ones that carry Lyme.

The Worst Part

2011-07-18T07:30:00.001-04:00

The worst part (for me) about being depressed is how it spreads into other areas of my life. Like weeds that you can't evict from your garden. They don't just stay where they are and choke out the positive and beautiful plants in one little area, they spread. They ruin the aesthetic everywhere.

I was pretty much not taking Zoloft while I was taking doxycycline.

The list of things you can't take when you're taking a Cipro drug is so long it's completely overwhelming. I was scared to take anything that would interact so I decided to taking nothing but the doxy. After basically 3 weeks without Zoloft I was feeling okay, a little low on the motivation-o-meter but otherwise a-okay. Now, nearly two weeks after finishing doxy my motivation level is so low it's hard to leave the couch. I can put on a good show for peeps and I'm not so far gone I don't love doing things with the family, obviously, but over all my inner monologue is pretty dark.

I have a hard time psyching myself up for even the most basic of tasks (like eating a real meal). I'm frustrated that I seem to need Zoloft, or at least that I'm not my normal self while not on a mood stabilizer. I'm frustrated that my dining room table is a wreck. I'm not sure if I'm depressed, or just lethargic (at least I'm not anxious). I don't really know what's going on, but it's like a weed, it's creeping in to everything.

My judgment is impaired. I'm not acting normally to even the simplest things. Example: I want to see the Harry Potter movie so bad I can taste it. I'm depressed that I haven't seen it yet. (Pathetic? Die-hard-fan?) It's just a movie.... I have the ability to get a sitter and go see the movie but I'm scared to call her. Why? Rejection? I'm paying her, not asking her out... I keep hearing friends good news, like really good news, and although I'm not so dark to be purely jealous, I'm happy first and jealous second. Why? Can't I just celebrate someone else's good news. (If you're reading this wondering if I've been dark and twisted about your good news, yes. Whether I know you IRL or just through the blogsphere, yes.)

I also keep hearing bad news. Cancer stuff (the running count is 3 wonderful people with a shitty shitty disease) and bad luck generally crappy things happening to good people. I don't deal well with bad news. I don't deal well at all with bad news. I basically shut down and pretend bad news isn't happening. So I obsess negatively about good news and ignore (or more like internally fester) bad news. I might not spend much time actively worrying about or being depressed over the sad things happening to good people but I'm not so naive to think its not sticking around. Bothering me. Weeds.

I mean it doesn't make sense, I feel totally emotionally all over the map, and yet things are not so bad I'm thinking about trying to stay off the Zoloft. I want to "make it on my own" as it were. But I'd like to function like a normal person again. I'd like to clean my dining room table and weed my metaphorical (and literal) garden. But its hard. It's especially hard because I have no trust in doctors (shrinks included).

Lost in the woods.
What to do? Oh, what to do....

Sesame Place

2011-07-17T12:48:00.005-04:00

Saturday we took a day trip to Sesame Place and we had a blast!

First I have some general park tips and then I have some family pics to share, so if you want the pics just skip ahead.

Here are some park tips I picked up:

No shoes, no ride. This seems obvious, but when I saw a man wearing a 4 month old in an Ergo get yelled at by a 16 year old ride operator for trying to bring the baby on the ride I realized they were taking that rule VERY literally. What 4 month old wears shoes?!

Height requirements- Most rides require you to be 36 inches tall (like the roller coaster and many of the water slides) Henry who is not nearly 3 feet tall had a blast too, and since he's not one for thrills he didn't mind. But if you have a daredevil who isn't 3 feet tall, I'd wait till they grow a bit before bringing them (because the park personnel take the rules very literally).

Bring a bag that is small enough to put in a locker (2ftx1ft) or bring a wet-bag so you can keep your valuables with you in the water park. I was so nervous every time we parked the stroller that it was hard for me to have fun. But worrying is what I do best...

Using that waterproof sling for Henry was great because he spent much of the water park time standing with his arms over his head begging to be held or actually in some one's arms. Using the sling saved my back and kept both hands free to take pics and occasionally help Jack.

When you enter the park to the left underneath the big Rubber Ducky raft slide there is a small shallow pool. There are benches and picnic tables and a little train hand car ride. It's shaded. It's the perfect place to make camp or take a little break. Also a great place to breastfeed, there were lots of moms that chose that spot, it was kinda funny that it was this unspoken rule.

That's enough tips, now it's time for the pics! Henry loved the Big Bird Balloon Race.
Splash park. Big hit for Jack!

Henry, not so much.

Despite some body language to the contrary, Jack LOVED this slide, and went again and again. He just barely met the height requirement (My fave part about this is I was able to go first, then tell the lifeguard at the bottom he needed to be caught and the lifeguard would fish him out. I saw another family, otherwise I wouldn't think he could have safely done this one at all!

Henry could give a hoot about Elmo. His loyalty lies with Cookie.

They loved it!

And that roller coaster? Jack rode it 3 times and then wanted to ride again and again but we bribed him with dinner at Macaroni Grill instead. I love that there were so many restaurants right outside the park because another chicken finger or cheese 'pizza' option would have made my head explode!

My entire lack of rose-colored glasses

2011-07-15T07:32:00.003-04:00

First of all, anything in the pink family isn't really my color, so rose never really stood a chance. But even if I loved rose... I've never really been much for overlooking flaws. I love my kids, that isn't up for debate, but I see my kids for who they are perfection, imperfection and everything in between.

I read an article in a parenting magazine this morning giving advice to parents who are blind to their childrens' flaws. The parents who see their child in a squabble with another kid and ask "what did little so-and-so do to provoke my angel-face?" Really the advice was for the other parent in that situation, the one who's thinking "I think they're both to blame" but since angel-face's momma is unwilling to see it the realist is left alone to discipline their child while the equally-at-fault friend watches, wondering "what's this whole discipline thing."

Fault is really irrelevant. It has always seemed silly to point fingers. I point fingers, I'm human. But when I'm trying to model good behavior for my kids I always try to ride the line of You shouldn't have done X and I shouldn't have done Y so lets hug it out and move on. Anyway, back to the point...

The article was talking about kid/kid interactions, not kid/unraveled TP all over the bathroom floor interactions. Discipline is pretty crystal clear when there's only one possible perpetrator. When there are multiple children and multiple parenting styles involved that's when the water gets murky.

Reading the article made me flashback to a day that I picked Jack up from school/camp and the teacher told me "Jack was in an altercation with another boy today."
My first thought was craaaap. So I said "Oh, I'm sorry! What did he do?"
"Jack didn't do anything, the other boy was picking on him." Say what?!
I certainly don't believe Jack is nothing but trouble, but he and trouble are certainly... friendly. He's passionate and impulsive, traits I lovingly gave to him. Traits that sometimes allow me to be caring and fun-loving and other times allow be to find trouble like a moth drawn to a flame. So I get him, perhaps because I get myself.

It made me chuckle to remember that pick-up day and how my mind went immediately to wonder what my little angel face did. Turns out he might actually be a little bit of an angel face. Maybe every once in a while I should force myself to put on the rose colored glasses. Just to see how things look. (But just for a minute.)

Normally I like antibiotics

2011-07-14T06:18:00.002-04:00

My experience with antibiotics has always been a good one. But it's been a week since i finished the course of doxycycline and I feel really wiped. I've been having a reaction on my skin sometimes, a red itchy rash, but a cool compress makes it go away. I'm feeling kinda toxic, literally. (Don't worry, my dining room table is fine.) I'm trying to drink lots of water and eat detoxifying foods, but I fell all bleh. Fingers crossed that my system is back to homeostasis soon!

Summer and I have a deeply complex relationship

2011-07-12T20:54:00.002-04:00

I was in school from age 2 to age 23. I enjoyed many many summers. They were a break from school and an opportunity to worship the sun at the beach and at the pool. I was also a swimmer so summer was... well everything. Now I'm a mom. Summer vacation isn't much of a vacation. Yes, it's great to be outside with the kids and enjoy summer vicariously but it's so not the same. Even on the beach or at the pool I'm parenting, not basking. Maybe it's because I'm not a kid or maybe it's because the summer still feels like work but I find I'm less tolerant of the heat. It's hard to keep the kids and myself hydrated and cool. We have a pool in the backyard but it holds about 15 gallons of water so, it's certainly not going to keep me cool.

We've started playing outside early in the morning. Like from 7-9am, which is no biggie because Henry is waking up at 4:30/5:00 most mornings (darn you, summertime!) so by 7am I've already knitted my clothes for the day by hand, baked our daily bread, milked the cow for our morning cereal, and had my coffee, so I'm good to go.

I can't wait for the days to get shorter so he sleeps later. I'm so sleep deprived I lost my train of thought. Where was I? Oh yes, so summer isn't what it used to be. But I'm coming up with creative ways to beat (or sometimes embrace) the heat.

For example, we have plans to go to Sesame Place this weekend. If you've never been and you live anywhere near Philly you really should take the kids! There's a whole splash park area, and I want to be able to bring Henry along but not worry about having both arms to carry him the whole time, in case Jack slips or because I need two hands for each of my beers... whatever. So I made this:

Its made of swimsuit material so it will maintain its integrity when wet and it will dry fast. And it cost me $9. Have you seen the one in One Step Ahead?! It's $50. Suckers!

But no matter how much I complain about the heat, and the sweat and the bugs the sun kissed faces and the fresh fruit and the blooming flowers and the sunsets more than make up the difference.

Just be sure and watch your back; they will throw sand at you.

Don't bother asking me how I'm feeling, it's written all over my dining room table

2011-07-11T07:20:00.004-04:00

I don't know if you're like this, but I can gauge my mood by looking at the condition of my dining room table. If there is a bunch of crap piled on the table chances are good I'm cranky, depressed, anxious, or deathly ill.

There are mornings that I come down the stairs and look at the dining room table and realize I can't see the surface of the table at all (which makes me feel like I should be on Hoarders) and think to myself "Oh no, that won't do at all..." and immediately spend my pre-breakfast pre-coffee morning cleaning, and sometimes whistling a happy tune.

There are other mornings when I come downstairs, take one look at that table and think "Oh Phuket, Thailand." And proceed to ignore, if not add to, the mess all day long. I find myself throughout the day glancing over at the table and thinking how several of those items are clearly my husband's problem... or how they're all my problem but I can't bring myself to do a darn thing about it.

Really, my husband and kids shouldn't ask me how I'm feeling, even my mother could just ask me how's the dining room table. 'Cause even if the crap piled on the table is organized into neat little piles those piles are just one step away from absolute chaos.

Bad mood.
Good mood.

The table is my insect reflection... or something like that. It's practically a physical manifestation of my aura. But here's the coolest part- if it looks like crap, and I feel like crap (for one reason or another) and I'm somehow able to choke down enough caffeine (or Zoloft) so I can muster the motivation to clean the thing. It makes me feel better! Like cleaning the table somehow cleanses my aura.

Life with tiny humans is like controlled (or uncontrolled) chaos and that's generally hard for me because I prefer to control everything. When I regain control of my dining room table I'm able to let go in other ways, and that helps me be a better momma.

My little revelation isn't exactly breaking news. I've heard before that having a clean home is good for mental (and emotional health). And housework isn't fun. Not even a little bit. But it's satisfying when you've completed it.

I suppose the real question is: "Do I feel better because my dining room table is somehow connected to my emotional state? or Do I feel better because housework sucks and it feels good when it's done?"

How about you? Do you have a spot in your house that is your litmus test for crazy? (Or that drives you crazy?)

Rip up your garden, or go to jail.

2011-07-10T09:27:00.005-04:00

This is just crazy. Being thrifty and green is not a crime. I would be willing to bet if there was someone down the street who never bothered to weed the garden but they have gnarled azaleas growing instead of that offensive summer squash they wouldn't be in trouble with he city. If there was a foreclosure where the lawn never gets mowed because, let's be honest if there is a for sale sign in the yard and the grass is a foot tall chances are it's a foreclosure, the bank isn't being threatened with jail time. Lazy gardeners and foreclosures are everywhere in this country- they're certainly all over the place where we live. But someone who wants to feed their family fresh local veggies, gasp! How dare they damage the neighborhood aesthetic!

So how do we change the world? How do we get each other to realize that looks aren't everything? Living well is more important than what's on the surface, right?!

"Michelle Obama put an 1,100 sq foot garden on the south lawn of the White House. If it's good enough for the leader of the free world..." best comment on the original article.

Thank God for strangers with candy

2011-07-08T07:03:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning I had to get blood drawn.

When I was first screened for Lyme my liver function was a little low. The antibiotics are known to impact the liver so my doctor wanted me to go in for a blood-draw to check again and see if everything is fine now hat I'm done with the drugs Woo Hoo!!!

I got to the lab a little after 9 thinking that I would come in after the I-have-to-get-to-work crowd had come and gone. I was so wrong.

When I signed in the woman at the desk asked me if I would rather go to another location because there was more than an hour wait. While waiting in the crowded and otherwise quiet (not for long) waiting area didn't sound like fun neither did packing the kids back in the car and schlepping all over town to find another lab location.

I had some juice boxes and some snacks and Henry was happy enough to sit in the stroller for the first 45 minutes or so. Well eventually Jack got bored, the juice boxes were tapped and Henry wanted to get down and play. Kill me, kill me now.

Most of the other people in the waiting room ignored us completely (meaning they didn't throw judgmental or pity glances our way). A few people smiled and chatted with me or the boys for a minute. But then the sh*t hit the fan. Jack announced he wanted to leave and go to a playground and Henry feeling that was a brilliant idea indicated his agreement by screeching, over and over and over again. The woman next to me turned to Jack and presented him with a notebook and a pen and said "Would you like to color?"

I just about burst into tears. It really wasn't thar bad, the kids were surprisingly great through most of the grueling wait. Did I mention this was a fasting blood draw? So this woman came to my rescue at about 10:00. I've been up since 6 and I haven't eaten. Anything. My hero sat with Jack and was quickly joined by Henry who both colored and made requests for rockets and flowers, we are nothing if not eclectic. We talked about her kids (grown) but mostly we talked about Jack's favorite subject- himself.

I don't live in an area where people are notoriously friendly and helpful, especially not with complete strangers. So this woman, my waiting room friend, and her paper and pen was just a little extra special.

This is one good deed I will certainly pay forward!

The City Homesteader, reviewed in the 'burbs

2011-07-07T07:11:00.002-04:00

It's like this book was written for me!

Scott (the author) starts you out slow. If you're thinking to yourself "But it's the 21st century, I have a smart phone, I've sold out already." this book is still for you!

Who this book would appeal to:

Gardeners looking for a challenge.

Home cooks, who love fresh local ingredients.

Moms who home school or who love to teach their kids about things around the house.

Environmentally aware people who want organic food but don't want to pay out the nose at the grocery store.

My personal favorites:

"High Yield Crops" section talks about what to plant, when and where. I thought I was pretty savvy, but reading this section made me realize there are a few things I could easily change to have much greater success without any additional effort. (I even told my husband that I wished I had this book before we started planting this past spring!)

The whole Save It For Later chapter is really fantastic. If you've ever had a CSA and been frustrated that the food goes bad before you can eat it all or you've bought 10 lbs of peaches on impulse at Costco you can use the information in this chapter. I personally can't wait to try making fruit leather (fruit roll-up)!

The section about Pests Control is also a great one. But it only helps with the tiny 6-8 legged kind. It does nothing for the 2 legged "Mommy I need another snack" kind. But I hear there are people who can handle that...

The only thing this book doesn't do is break down the growing zones. Which I personally would love, because I think we're right on the line of 6a and 7b, or something like that. This book is not preachy about why you should grow, it doesn't tell you what to grow and what not to grow and what else you should make by hand. It just gives you information. Want to know about growing herbs? Fruits and veggies? Keeping chickens? Making soap? Using a clothes line? It's got that! But it's not one of those "I'm greener than you and you should feel like a crappy human being for killing the planet one plastic baggie at a time."

Speaking of- I have to make a run to Target tomorrow, on the way to my first follow up blood draw. Tomorrow is the last day of my Lyme Disease fighting medication!!! Which means I will be eating Brie and drinking wine while sitting in the sun for dinner on Friday. Maybe I'll even treat myself to an ice cream cake to celebrate!! Woo Hoo!!

My opinions of The City Homesteader are my own. I was given the book to review but my enthusiasm is entirely mine. I cannot be bought. I cost way way way too much, just ask my husband.

A day at the beach

2011-07-06T06:50:00.000-04:00

So, technically it wasn't a day at the beach so much as a late afternoon at the beach. But since I'm basically a vampire (a cool Buffy/Angel vampire, like Darla... not one of those lame Twilight vampires) and thus allergic to sunlight, that was just perfect! Jack splashed.

Henry watched.

And I did some yoga, which crosses off one of my 30 Things I want to do while I'm 30. Doing yoga in the sand requires an insane amount of muscle energy. Doing yoga in the surf... is a whole other ball game! Crazy stuff!

It turns out I did get burned this weekend, but the worst spot is on the knuckles of my right hand. Weird, right?!

S'mores!

2011-07-05T17:26:00.003-04:00

We've been pretty busy lately, so I'm going to break our goings-on into categories. Since it's me we're talking about you knew there had to be an entire category dedicated to food... specifically dessert! Six months ago Jack saw this t-shirt in a store and insisted that I buy him the camping shirt. He now often requests it when getting dressed in the morning. So when I say I've been waiting for this photo opportunity I want you to understand my full meaning.

Jack was sold right away.

Like I said.... sold.

Henry found the sticky marshmallow goo to be amusing.

Daddy enjoyed it too.

I confess, we cheated and used the gas grill, we didn't work over an open flame.

A Debate Rages...

2011-07-04T22:09:00.002-04:00

I have been informed by several sources recently that tankinis are for old ladies... (I call BS)
and in order to avoid being a complete lame-ass I must wear a one-piece instead. (Are you people happy?)

And I have stretch marks on my stomach which isn't a big deal to me, but I don't feel inclined to show them off at the pool or on the beach this summer.... so a real bikini is out. I suppose there is always the monokini... shudder.

Personally, I don't know how I feel about this 'rule' that tankinis are for old ladies... I have a self imposed rule against looking like a mom-trying-to-be-a-milf. So, what are your rules regarding summer swimwear? Should I wear the one-piece or the tank? And more importantly why has this been occupying my thoughts for the last 3 weeks?!

A New Addition to the Family

2011-07-01T07:01:00.001-04:00

We have a new love seat! This means we can finally all sit comfortably as a family to enjoy a movie night or afternoon construction show. It's funny now a little thing can make such a huge difference.

So last weekend amidst all the yoga, and Kirtan (which you have to check out, BTW -please don't think I share this to try to convert anyone, I think having a system of beliefs is awesome and I respect that... but I had been hearing about this 'Kirtan' thing at my Yoga Studio for a while now and finally I decided to check it out. Cool stuff, it's kind of like group meditation with singing and chanting. No doctrine, no dogma. Imagine singing Kumbaya but replace the acoustic guitar with a harmonium... I digress, big time) So last weekend I was doing yoga and going to Kirtan and learning to knit, when our new addition arrived.

You see, my In-Laws are moving from the house my husband grew up in to their retirement home and they're purging. Like fire-sale-everything-must-go purging. And we're lucky enough to reap some of the benefits! The couch on the right was ours and the love seat on the left was theirs (but fits the color palate perfectly!)

I love hand-me downs because sometimes you get awesome stuff, and you're re-using and you're saving money. My 3 favorite things rolled into one little package: cool stuff, being green and being thrifty!

Our new addition to the living room inspired a re-org of the playroom.

Too bad when I went down there yesterday I found Henry standing in the play sink, and the day before that I found him standing behind the TV. We need a taller TV stand for safety (big time!) Hopefully we can get to that soon because lack of safety totally undermines the whole "autonomous play" thing.

But the space doesn't feel nearly so crowded anymore, thank goodness! It was getting all kinds of crowded up in here!

Now that I've completely reorganized my house I'm ready for the 4th of July. We're going to the beach and celebrating with family. What do you have planned for the long weekend??

Everytime I pack

2011-06-30T07:00:00.000-04:00

My preference for a certain color palate becomes quite obvious.

Getting to know you

2011-06-29T08:57:00.000-04:00

my camera are getting to know eachother. These are just the art options (and manual) settings. There's a whole group of options that are scene options. Very interesting stuff!

Blast Off

2011-06-28T10:54:00.001-04:00

This week Jack is in Space Camp from 9 to 12 everyday. I love our county and its programs (in 3 weeks we're studying dinosaurs.)

Just your typical manic weekend...

2011-06-27T08:19:00.000-04:00

Jack challenged me to a duel. Or needed to see that mommies can do anything daddies can do... Please note my leveled perfection: Jack's new closet is finished and awesome and spacious. I am Mommy, hear me use power tools.

I taught myself to knit this week so this weekend I started making a woolie. (Which is a wool diaper cover and is waterproof. It's also fuzzy and precious.)

I celebrated International Handstand Day on Sunday, June 26th.

And I went to yoga class this weekend for 14 hours.

Like a Virgin

2011-06-26T12:15:00.004-04:00

So this is kind of a big deal. It's really common in the world of mommy blogs to run into many product reviews and giveaways and what-not. We're moms. We're thrifty. I get it.

I've been contacted a few times by companies to review products or to accept a free gift if I'm willing to run a giveaway on my blog. I've always been really torn by these offers. I'm thrifty so some free cleaning products would be awesome, but in the end, I felt like if I was going to be willing to do this I wanted it to be something I really believed in. Not just because it was free.

When I was contacted by Scott Meyer's publicist I was truly interested in using my blog to tell you about something cool. Now I tell you about products or cool gadgets sometimes, but it's because I found it, I think it's cool and I want you to know. Normally I have no brand loyalty I'm not pushing an agenda and that's the way I like to keep it. So why this book? When I realized that what we were already doing was trying to create a homestead in suburbia I figured I would check to see if anyone had written about homesteading in small spaces. At that time everything was "If you have 12 acres of land...." or "Here's how to convert your car to bio-desel." And while these things are wicked cool, they aren't really practical for my life, young mom, small kids, trapped in suburbia.

I just got The City Homesteader in the mail and I'm really excited about reading it and telling you all about it!

A Vegetarian Turkey Reuben (a.k.a. Rachel)

2011-06-24T11:00:00.003-04:00

I'm always looking for ways to adapt my favorite omnivore dishes to a vegetarian (pescetarian) diet. We decided to try a little experiment.

This Rachel sandwich DID NOT disappoint!

Here's what we did:
1 Loaf regular Whole Wheat bread (next time I'm going to try this on Rye).
1 package of Tofurkey divide evenly between each of 4 sandwiches.
1 Jar of Organic Sauerkraut pile as much as you like on each sandwich- go easy on the kids.
Homemade 1000 Island dressing: (mix 1T olive oil mayo, 1T organic ketchup, 1T organic relish, because the other stuff had HFCS.) Smear on one side of the sandwich.
1 package of Swiss Cheese 2 slices per sandwich.

Grill on both sides the same you would a grilled cheese.

Enjoy!

For the record, Jack, Henry, the Husband and I all LOVED this!! I'm certain it will become a regular meal in our house.

This recipe was my brain-child and my husband's culinary creation.

The Best Place on Earth

2011-06-24T07:42:00.000-04:00

100% Organic blueberries ripe for the pickin', a yoga studio with views of the blueberry fields, a massage and acupuncture... all in one place?! It kinda brings tears to my eyes.

All these blueberries for $25! The place is honor system based, so I don't know how many pounds of blueberries I got but I do know I had 14 cups of blueberries. I washed them all in a huge strainer. I tossed 5 cups into a freezer bag to be used for snacks for the tiny humans or 'ice cubes' in champagne or ice cream toppings or a smoothie add-in.

But the bulk of the berries went to Jam. I cannot wait to spread this stuff on my morning croissant. Speaking of, if you know a great croissant-from-scratch recipe or a biscuit-from-scratch recipe- link it up!

Have you been to a Pick Your Own yet this year? What goods have you scored?

Don't get mad, use power tools.

2011-06-23T06:59:00.000-04:00

Today while running some soul-crushing errands my oldest son said something very disturbing. The conversation went like this.

"Jack, now that we're finished letting Target kill our souls (I may be ad-libbing a bit here) we need to go to the construction store."

"No, Mommy, construction stores are just for Daddies."

"No, Jack, Mommies can go to the construction store too."

With righteous indignation, "NO! They can't!"

Who replaced my mommy-loving son with a misogynist?!

"No, sweetie, girls can do anything boys can do, and that's a good thing. That means daddies can do what mommies do and mommies can do what daddies do.". Please don't ask me about where babies come from, not now, because that totally undermines what I'm going for here.

"Oh, yeah."

Whew! For now.

Yeah, I'm Jealous

2011-06-22T06:46:00.002-04:00

So yesterday was the Summer Solstice. I did some extra sun salutations and they were delicious. But how cool would it have been to do yoga with a BUNCH of other yogis in Times Square on the Summer Solstice?! Check out this article from Huffington Post for photos and video. Yoga en mass like this is so cool to see!

The allure of Pretty Things

2011-06-21T09:37:00.003-04:00

During my weekend away my attempts at embracing aparigraha played second fiddle to my desire to shop for pretty things in an adult-like way.

If you have tiny humans of your own you know what it's like to take them shopping. No stores with breakable things. Attention constantly divided between what you're looking for and making sure they aren't running amok. I discovered The Coconut Bay. A new store in Historic Berlin, MD. They have the coolest Buddhist, Hindu and early Christian collection of items I've ever seen. Beautiful Celtic Crosses.

Statues of Buddha in every shape and size. Carvings of Hindu gods & goddesses. Wicked cool pagan stuff (I couldn't help myself).

Even Japanese shoes.

At the antique stores I scored some more plates for my wall art in the dining room.

I'm starting a collection of tea cups and saucers, I even got a cast iron tea pot, for less than 50% the going rate!

And a stool for the kids. Because when I cook I usually have an audience, and with only one stool there are many disagreements over who gets to stand on it.

Under Construction Marks

2011-06-20T23:09:00.003-04:00

I'm making some changes to my blog because I was inspired by a button Shannon created for me (so if you use RSS or similar to read me- come to the site and check out my shiny new header!) Jack refers to construction sites as construction marks therefore: We're under construction marks. Hopefully, when it's all said and done, I'll have a new and mostly permanent look.

And sometime tomorrow I'll post about today's fun and/or this weekend's shopping.

A Weekend in Food

2011-06-20T06:59:00.000-04:00

Upon arrival appetizers were presented.

The next morning we had tea (the balsamic vinegar dressing didn't kill me, despite vinegar's strictly verboten dietary status.)

Tiny sandwiches, scones and yummy chocolate treats. The white-haired owner of the store came over to tell us what was on each tier and then she leaned in to explain that the chocolate treat on top was like an "orgasm in your mouth." I just about died!

Sunday morning we went to 'the crepes place'. I did not order the Hot Fudge Sunday crepe, because I can't have calcium within two hours of my morning dose of antibiotics. Stab, stab, stab.

My garden omelet (no cheese) and crepe with jelly were yummy and filling.

As was the hash browns, which we split.

Next up, A Weekend in Shopping. Because when you go on vacation without your tiny humans in tow there are 3 things worth doing: eat out uninterrupted, go shopping uninterrupted, sleep uninterrupted. (But pictures of me sleeping would be kinda boring, no?)

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T17:43:00.002-04:00

To my goofball To their Daddy

To their friend

Daddy guest blog

2011-06-17T19:28:00.003-04:00

While Mommy is away, the boys will play. And get injured, and be telerescued by Mommy, and decide they won't go to sleep.

5 hours in to this whole "Mommy is at the beach with her friend celebrating her belated 30th birthday for a girls weekend away from their boys to let lose and relax" and things are going swimmingly!

1) Had play date
2) Ate nutritious pizza for dinner w/ cookies and blueberries (points for something nominally healthy there)
3) Fell off the train table and wrenched an arm
4) Eventually got ahold of Mommy who suggested nursemaids elbow as the injury ("couldn't be! I wasn't in the room, but how could that of happened falling off a table!?!")
5) A quick look-up of the "repair" technique later and Jack's fixed (points for Daddy actually fixing it)
6) A couple of episodes of Jack's favorite TV shows immediately before bed because
A) I feel bad that he got hurt and wanted to give him a treat
B) Henry is upstairs refusing to go to sleep
C) I am having trouble summoning the energy to take Jack up just this second

So, so far great! :-D

Right now as I type this guest blog I am also busily googling for that audible of Samuel L. Jackson's reading of "Go the F&$% to Sleep!". I believe tonight might be the night that I put that on loop, open a beer and collapse on the couch once the last kiddo is tucked in (and has gone the F*$% to sleep).

Somehow watching them most of a weekend for Emily's Yoga weekends is never this stressful or difficult. The kids must have known it is father's day weekend and really wanted me to earn my keep.

Back to a snuggle on the couch with Jack and stories.

Happy Father's Day, from The Washington Post

2011-06-17T07:45:00.003-04:00

So Father's Day is Sunday. I could say something silly like "Don't forget to get your husband a gift from the kiddos." But every momma I know had it delivered and wrapped weeks ago.

We're just that good.

Today (In The Washington Post, is there any other paper?) Petula Dvorak wrote a piece about fathers and how their roles in the family are changing.

I will not for a minute dispute that the change is tremendous. Fathers don't sit in the waiting room smoking cigars while doctors forcibly remove their offspring from their heavily sedated wives with forceps. Fathers hold a leg, cut the chord (hopefully after it stops pulsing) and sometimes catch the baby and act as labor coach. If he's really lucky he gets do do all these things from the comfort of his own living room. Okay, maybe that's just me...

Despite my Stay-At-Home status we have some non-traditional gender roles in this house. For example: I make 70% of the Home Depot runs. I too sing the praises of the book Go the F*ck to Sleep. Only a father deeply involved in the bedtime routine could write a book like this. Cigar smoking, waiting room sitting fathers need not apply. Dvorak's article sings the praises of men who leave their office job and take on the status of Stay-At-Home-Dad.

Fundamentally, I have two problems with this article: 1. It implies that women have arrived. We are equal to men in degrees received, pay earned and promotions given. But we aren't- it's getting close, but we're not there yet. We're often still seen as a liability in the workplace- we could get pregnant, we could be distracted by what's going on at home, we might cry... or act bitchy... or wilt like a delicate flower. In order to succeed in the same jobs that men do we have to walk this line of an impossible paradox; we have to be hard, decisive and judicious while still maintaining an air of softness. Anything else we can do while we're at it? Stand on our heads? Be sexy yet conservatively a-sexual?

I realize the article is about dads written in anticipation of father's day, but the references to women succeeding equally in the work place are disingenuous.

2. Conversely, It doesn't say enough about how awesome men are for advocating for insisting on paternal benefits at work. This is a big deal, and trying to make strides in this area is hugely important.

By insisting on family friendly schedules, flex time and paternity leave men are able to be, as Dvorak says, 'All-in'. This is awesome. It's awesome because two involved parents is better than one. But secretly, I see men pushing for better parent benefits at work including opening our eyes to benefits women still need in the workplace like a private and comfortable place to pump. As fathers become more and more deeply invested in the lives of their children the more aware they become of holes that still exist (like WIC benefits for breastfeeding mothers and better health care coverage all birth but especially of home birth.)

Like I said before, things have changed so much since the 1950s, but women are not completely equal to men in the work place and the work place is the same as the policy-writing-place. Now, I want that in a big way. But in the mean time, if men become more aware of the flaws in our systems, then women might not have to fight alone for rooms in their offices to pump in, or better medical coverage birth or breastfeeding accoutrements, or family leave after birth or adoption because 6 weeks paid is just pathetically inadequate. I firmly believe that women can change the world but I would much prefer that the world BE changed than that women earn exclusive bragging rights for making it happen.

Like any good Op-Ed piece, Dvorak's article generates lots of talking points and is worth the read.

And now I'm going to get back to packing for my girls weekend away at the beach. I love you, honey. Your Father's Day present is on the dining room table. Don't open it till Sunday, okay?

Okay, just one more post about Lyme

2011-06-16T07:54:00.002-04:00

I'm so pissed right now. Lyme and I are hardcore frenemies. I get it, I got myself bitten by a tick, I suppose I have to pay the consequences for the dirty little insect.

Yesterday afternoon the PA who I met with who was smart and awesome called me to give me the results of my blood test:
" Hi this is so-and-so from the doctors office I'm calling to tell you your lime disease test is very positive."
So faster than your can say drug runner I was on a shiny and new antibiotic called doxycycline (which is part of the Cipro family.) It's used to treat acne, so I guess that's a score, but it's this drugs only redeeming quality... that and treating the Lyme but when I tell you about the side effects you'll see things my way too.

I cannot go in the sun for the next 21 days because of extreme photo sensitivity. I have two boys and it's summer time, why not just take us to Disney world and force us to stand longingly at the gate day after day. I'm not allowed to have anything with calcium within 2 hours of taking the drug. So you know that cup of coffee in the morning, it's going to be black or else I will get none at all. Wtf@!gbrt&? Take the kids for ice cream after dinner? No can-doosville, baby. Yogurt for breakfast, orange juice with calcium? Wrong again. I can't have any vinegar, like, at all. There goes my 2 bottle a day vinegar habit. More like I can't have any yummy and probiotic kombucha, none at all for 21 days. Bummer. And the nail in the cofin? No booze, not even a little bit, none at all. So first we're going to take away my reasons for living and then we're going to take away a time-honored means of coping in desperate situations? That's just effed up.

This is clearly several problems all rolled into one big suck-fest. But all problems are solvable if you break them down. So far we've come up with non-dairy creamer. Any additional suggestions to maintain some normalcy during this PITA time will be mucho appreciated!

Medicinal marijuana? Not appropriate? Ah well, it was worth a shot. Then at least I can party on the 4th with everyone else....

This post is brought to you by the awesomeness of antibiotics.

2011-06-15T08:49:00.004-04:00

I wanted to show a progression of the tick bite site, so here are the photos (taken each morning after breakfast... whether I was up to eating it or not).

Day 1: No Photo. It looked exactly like a mosquito bite. Who takes a pic of a mosquito bite? The bite was noticed in the morning. Fever started in the early afternoon 100/101. Day 2: Swollen and pinkish. Fever, all day, high 102.

Day 3: Black plague of death, run away! Run away! Fever all day, high 104. First doctor's appointment, a total fail.

Day 4: Diagnosed! Bulls eye shape, inner ring purple like a bruise, outer ring pink/red with a clear, meaning obvious, ring. Fever, low, 100 in the morning, none during the middle of the day, high 102 in the evening. (First day of antibiotics, 500mg Clarithromycin, taken morning and night.)

Day 5: Bigger in surface area but the swelling is starting to go down (as is the tenderness.) No fever morning or afternoon, fever spiked in early evening at 102. (Second day of antibiotics.)

Day 6: Distinct ring disappearing. No fever at all. (Third day of antibiotics.)

Day 7: Bruise spreading, tenderness almost gone. No fever, again! (Fourth day of antibiotics.)

Day 8: Today. Bruise and redness nearly gone! No fever (so far) but I'm thinking the rest of the day is going to be fine. To prove it I'm going to go to the mall, just for a quick trip. (Fifth day of antibiotics.)

Hopefully this will be my last post about Lyme Disease, other than the occasional anecdotal reference: "Hey, remember that one time I had Lyme Disease?"

Couch Potatoes

2011-06-14T10:49:00.002-04:00

The scene around these parts has been pretty similar the last few days. Usually Mommy is perched on the couch behind the boys and we're all watching Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. (Which is not nearly as good as the book but is certainly very entertaining.) Today Henry got upgraded to First Class after he slammed his mouth (twice) into something and started spitting blood. Just a cut on his gums, but it seemed to warrant some special treatment, and he seemed to appreciate that.

Who knew that I was going to be all "TV is not that evil, in fact, it's a part of life; Lets move on" and then WHAM! I'm sick and stuck on the couch choosing show after show and movie after movie because I can't do much more than that.

But this isn't the way life is in this house, and it will change again, soon?

TV isn't all that bad, sometimes it's downright necessary.

Yoga and Lyme Disease

2011-06-13T07:01:00.004-04:00

Since the onset of symptoms the hardest thing to do has been to get out of bed in the morning. Not because I'm sad or worried or unmotivated, but because no matter how slowly I start moving it seems I always feel dizzy, have a skull splitting headache, and the bite site (on my left leg) throbs so badly I have to limp until the blood starts to flow normally.

This morning I decided that enough was enough. I was going to do something to hopefully stop these symptoms. The first thing I did was to lay in bed for 5 minutes just taking physical inventory. Nothing was hurting more than usual, I didn't feel particularly disoriented, just tired and achy (oh, the achy joints!)

I took a few sips of water (which is always on my bedside table at night, right now.) Breathed deeply for a few slow breaths (like, maybe 5 or 10.)Modified Mountain Pose. I'm just activating the muscles in my arms and legs. Feet are flexed. Palms face the ceiling. Hold while taking 2-4 comfortable and deep breaths

Bridge Pose. Legs and arms are active. Butt is not clenched. Knees are hip distance apart (not touching and not splayed to the side.) Hold while taking 1-3 comfortable and deep breaths.

Knees-to Chest Pose. Gently hug knees towards the chest. Feet are flexed and active. Hold while taking 1-3 gentle deep breaths.

Reclining Big Toe Pose. Hands are gently pulling on the leg while the leg is gently pushing back into the hands. "Resting" leg is active, foot is flexed. Repeat on other side. Hold while taking 2-4 gentle deep breaths.

Shoulders on the Back (not officially a pose). Arms are stretched at shoulder height and muscles are active. Shoulders hug onto the back as arms slide deeper into the shoulder sockets. Repeat 3-5 times holding the pose while taking 1-2 deep comfortable breaths.

Modified Eagle Pose. Arms cross right over left (and then repeat placing left over right) hands are active, palms face away from one another. Legs and feet are active. Hold on each side while taking 1-3 deep comfortable breaths. Seated Staff Pose. Spine is straight, shoulders hug onto the back. Leg muscles are active, knees are not hyper extended, feet are flexed and active. Hold while taking 5-10 gentle deep breaths.

Easy Seated Pose. Normally a yoga practice starts with this pose, but when your joints ache and you are fatigued and your brain feels like it might burst from your skull this pose is challenging enough to be the final pose of the practice. I'm sitting in a crisscross applesauce like position. One foot is placed in front of the other so the ankles aren't stacked and feet are active. My sit bones are grounded into the.... mattress. (Normally, I would say Earth.) My spine is straight and perpendicular to the ground (allowing for a slight curve in the lumbar or lower back). Head is in line with the spine. Hold while gently taking 10 deep breaths.

Finally I put my feet on the floor for the first time this morning. I didn't feel the rush of blood to my bite site and the familiar throb. Pleasantly absent! I waited 30 seconds before standing. Still no debilitating headache. I stood, walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, feeling almost normal.

This means the antibiotics are working and perhaps the yoga is working as well.

Never underestimate the power of a yoga practice. No matter how strange looking and modified it is!

My Survival Kit

2011-06-12T13:55:00.002-04:00

Also, I'm taking some crazy antibiotics.

My weirdest symptom is a total lack of appetite. But that's probably because I can brush my teeth 100 times and my mouth still tastes awful! So food, tastes awful too. Which really sucks because I have a deep DEEP love for food.

When life gives you Lyme disease...

2011-06-11T14:32:00.005-04:00

...you make limeade, of course! (I did have some limeade today, BTW.) Thursday.

Friday.

Saturday.

More on that later. So, all you mommies out there be sure to check the kiddos for ticks. I never saw a tick, so if you see a welt and it grows and grows go to the doctor. Promise?

P.S. Today my fever is essentially gone and my aches are starting to go away, but the pain at the back of my knee and in my swollen lymph gland is increasing. But I'd take a bum leg over delerious with fever anyday.

So any home remedies, positive thinking or other help I can get will be much appreciated!

Doctors Suck, ask me how

2011-06-10T20:20:00.004-04:00

So today at 3:45 I went to see a doctor. Not my doctor but a doctor from my group. Here are the things he did that made him a crappy doctor:

1. I waited till 5pm to be seen by him. Clearly he skipped time management day in med. school

2. When he came in to the exam room he didn't acknowledge that I had been waiting at all. Leading me to believe that he actually thinks his time is more important than mine.

3. He was very upset by the fact that I wasn't 100% certain whether I had been taking 300mg or 500mg of Tylenol to treat my fever. Um, wow, OCD, who cares, the point is Tylenol is not completely cutting the fever. Focus.

4. He told me under no uncertain terms that I absolutely have both a bug bite and a virus and than neither have anything to do with another. He felt that it was unnecessary to explain how he came to this conclusion other than to say it appears that my body is reacting normally to the bite. On what planet is a red and purple area which is now the size (diameter) of a tennis ball and raised about 3/4 of an inch and a swelling and red lymph gland also the size of a tennis ball normal? This is the opposite of normal, it's kinda scary.

5. He sent me for a blood draw and didn't include a test for Lyme disease. Not that I think I have it, but it doesn't hurt to be thorough.

To provide a foil to the doctor's douche baggery, when I went for the blood draw they told me upfront there would be a wait. Then when I went back the tech said to me first thing: I'm so sorry you had to wait. We're short-staffed today. She makes a mere percentage of what this doctor makes and works in a repetitive and gross bodily fluid testing office but she was able to be a nice person.

I'm picky about how I'm treated by doctors. I know this. But I refuse to believe that the mere presence of MD after a person's name somehow makes them entitled to treat people with les respect than the barista a Starbucks is expected to treat their customers. Not all doctors suck, but I'll say this, I've never met a midwife I didn't like!

I have a follow up tomorrow with a different doctor. And now I'm going to do some restoratives that will encourage the blood and toxins to move out of my leg and hopefully to my kidneys where they will get flushed out. Let's hope yoga really can fix everything!

Lets play a game called name that illness

2011-06-10T07:47:00.004-04:00

I believe I may have been bitten by a spider and consequently poisoned. I feel like I'm assembling random clues because I don't remember being bitten or coming into contact with anyone who was sick with the symptoms I now have:

*Swollen insect bite behind my left knee. The size of a ping pong ball. Red and purple in color... it's dead sexy!
*Fever of 102-104 not brought down, not all the way, by Tylenol.
*Aching joints.
*Exhausted, dizzy, lethargic, sometimes nauseous.
*Swollen lymph glands, especially the ones in my left hip area (so on the same leg as the bite.)
*No appetite. But that might be because I'm just too tired that chewing seems like it will be entirely too much work.

So what's wrong with me? Any guesses?

My appointment with my doctor is today at 3:15 or 3:45 I can't remember because my brain isn't really working. I'm really opposed to seeking professional medical advice when it isn't absolutely necessary but it appears to be absolutely necessary. I'll let you know what the diagnosis is.

Floor Registers

2011-06-08T08:35:00.002-04:00

I need to vent, bwah ha ha ha, for a minute. I hate our floor vents. Maybe not hate, but I have a very strong dislike for them.

I feel that it is harder to decorate and arrange furniture around them. It's probably just perception because wall vents claim the same amount of space on a wall, but they do make area rugs a challenge.

But here's why floor vents really suck: they aren't screwed in. They can be easily lifted out by any pair of curious, trouble making hands. Which means anything that will fit in the hole in the floor- 4"x12" -usually ends up down in the duct work.

We found quite a few missing items today, the photo above shows just what came out of one register!

NKOTB

2011-06-07T06:23:00.000-04:00

The new kids on this block:
1 green bell pepper plant
1 red bell pepper plant
3 strawberry plants

(all planted in the second quadrant in from the left)

The green spring onions (far left) are looking great. They definitely enjoy their water. The lettuce still looks great too, and also enjoys lots of H2O.

The tomato loves being in a pot on the deck. I'm not sure how the herbs feel about the window box... they're alright... but cilantro usually is a trouble maker and this season is no different.

Television and Children

2011-06-06T19:20:00.004-04:00

My children will probably be fat kids with ADHD who are depressed and who are on the autism spectrum and they might be sociopaths*, but the good news is later they'll get Alzheimer's and forget I did this to them.

*Maybe they won't be sociopaths... I might have made that one up.

So, here's the thing- according to many sources too much TV is bad. So bad that TV might actually rot a child's brain (thanks for that one, Mom.) But Obesity and Depression and Autism and Alzheimer's are really truly tragic diseases and frankly scaring parents into thinking that plopping the kiddo in front of some Sprout or PBS is going to single-handedly create one of these serious disorders is insulting to people who actually suffer from them.

Now I'll admit Jack does act like a velociraptor in heat if you turn off his show before he's ready... or you won't turn on his show when he's ready. This is frustrating to me, but you know what's more frustrating?! Coming downstairs after putting Henry down for a nap to find that my bored and unsupervised 3 year old has made a fort on top of the dining room table out of the bone china (I don't actually have bone china... but it could happen.) Sometimes TV is necessary. At least it is in my world.

Right after Henry was born Jack probably watched 6 hours of TV a day. I'm not proud of it, but it's the truth. I felt so guilty. I cried, more than once, thinking about how I was farming out the parenting because it was easier for me. I worried constantly about what kind of damage I was doing to him mentally, emotionally and physically. I was taking the easy way out, it was springtime and I was forcing my active 2 year old to spend hours indoors while I got my mom-of-two sea legs. I went to the pediatrician because Henry was having a bad reaction to the mini-pill which I was taking (which my Midwife actually discovered) and the PA said to me while I sobbed about feeling guilty about utilizing the TV "Well, that's what happens when you have them close together." Unhelpful b*tch. (They are more than 2 years apart, BTW... not that it matters.)

So I've come to a conclusion as a complete non-expert on the topic, parenting is hard. Parenting comes with guilt about LOTS of things. Does 'the man' really need to lay it on so thick about Television? I'm not Amish. We have a TV. I like to watch it, usually after the kids are in bed. It was a major crutch when Henry was a brand new babe, and it's a useful tool now that my guys are older. It's not on all the time, we certainly get out and see the world. But I am absolutely done feeling guilty about letting the kids watch TV for a couple hours here and there.

I don't often get on a real soap box here, but this is me sticking to my guns (which I learned about because of watching TV and now have violent tendencies as a result.)

I am not a bad mom for using the TV as a part of our schedule. I'm not going to feel guilty and you shouldn't either!** My name is Emily, and I let my children watch TV, and I'm still a good mom.

**Unless your kids are actually plugged in, Matrix style, and then I will be the first to tell you how messed up that is.

I'm not ashamed to milk my birthday for all it's worth

2011-06-06T06:34:00.000-04:00

I threw myself a little shindig to celebrate this new milestone. I mean when you think of it, you turn 10 which is double digits- a big deal, then 13- teenager, then 16- driving, then 18- legal, then 21- boozefest and then..... crickets.... 9 years of nothing. How refreshing to hit another milestone!

Jack decided to channel his future self and spent most of the party streaking around the neighborhood in his skivvies. Maybe someday he'll care about nudity, but apparently it's not today. I must have asked "Is he naked?" about 10 times in the course of 3 hours, and fortunately each time he still had his boxer briefs on. Good Grief! Despite the wardrobe challenges my guys look amazing together! No?

By the end of the party I was good. to. go.

Speaking of milking my birthday for all it's worth... in 2 weeks I'm going to the beach with a girlfriend.... without kids. For the whole weekend. The. Whole. Weekend. Sleeping in. Going to tea. Wandering the antique stores. Sleeping (actually sleeping not that resting the eyes while all the other senses work in over drive to sense possible danger) on the beach. Pure Decadence!

I believe Sylvia Plath and I have an understanding

2011-06-03T14:01:00.005-04:00

About the high jinx and the sarcasm, not the electroshock therapy. Today we went to pick strawberries at a local Pick Your Own (click to find one near you!). Since my townhouse is on a plot of land slightly larger than my bathtub any real farming is impossible. So when we want to get the goods we go to the farm and pick them ourselves. I was told by a few friends that the crop of strawberries was not-so-hot this year, but I figured "What the hey!"

I'm glad I went! Jack made a friend right away and his mom and I seemed to agree that as long as they weren't hurting anyone or bothering anyone we'd let them entertain themselves.

With one less kiddo to watch I was able to pick LOTS of strawberries. (Maybe I got a lucky row or something.) There were a few little old ladies (with their husbands in tow) muttering about slim pickin's, but that didn't seem to be true for me.

So with Henry on my back I squatted and stood and squatted and stood and squatted and stood.

Workout for the day- CHECK!

6.67 lbs of strawberries later we were ready to go!

I dusted off my Ball (bell) jars read some very complicated Jam-making instructions. Which must be followed exactly or the house could blow up like a meth lab. (Remember that episode of Grey's Anatomy...)

But here's the thing with making Jam- there is probably instructions inside the pectin (which you should buy from a store if it's your first time, don't be a hero and harvest it from apples yourself). The instructions in your brand of pectin are going to be the most exact because every brand of pectin is slightly different.

I used my potato masher to smoosh the berries before cooking. Sterilize the jars & lids while making the first (of three) batch of jam.

Funnel into jars.

Put on both lids, and place using special tongs (on right) in boiling water. This pot is youge!

One of the ladies I was chatting with was talking about making strawberry ice cream with some of her take. She just mushes and freezes some and then adds it to the ice-cream maker when she's ready. With 6 jars of jam I decided to save the remaining berries for some ice cream of my own. Yum!

Joy

2011-06-02T22:00:00.003-04:00

Henry speaks. All the time. He uses baby-babble so it's not like he's telling me "Look, mommy a 747!" But he does say "AaahhPppptt" and "Jsssss" (juice) and "Ack" (Jack). Speaking of "Ack"- I've had my feelers out for a bicycle because although the tricycle was a great idea he outgrew it in about 30 seconds.

I ran across one when I was at a used toy store. That night when the Husband got home Jack said "Daddy, it's my new bicycle. It's the one I've always wanted." Where does he get this stuff?!

All he wants to do is ride. We rode for a few miles around the park this morning and then we rode from the house to the grocery store and back again this afternoon.

At one point he wanted to ride in the stroller. (During the up hill part of course). So I turned the stroller into a tow truck and Jack sat on the front at Henry's feet. I pushed and pushed and chugged and chugged, much in the spirit of the Little Engine That Could. But when I got to the top of my hill the little usurper got out and coasted down on his own.

I had to giggle.

Veggies- Oh My!

2011-06-01T00:01:00.001-04:00

So while we were enjoying our fabulous family beach getaway our garden was growing. Like, a lot. Radish flowers. I never knew what they looked like... now I do. Cute. I hope the radishes still taste okay. Because if you let basil flower before you eat it it's not-so-good.

All the radishes.

See. Radishes? Gone!

Lettuce- Overflowin'!

Onions- On their way!

Weeds- A problem.

But because you should not mulch a veggie garden we weed when we can. Just don't let the weeds choke out the good stuff!

Lettuce. Seriously, I harvested 2 lbs!! And there is so much left. I just cut the leaves near the base yesterday morning and there is already new growth today. We're going to have many a summer salad.

Washed and ready to be stored. Picking the lettuce right into the strainer I then used to wash the lettuce certainly streamlined the process.

Now I'm trying to choose the summer crop (to replace the radishes).

The choices seem to be:

Summer Squash- which are easy, great for the space but not my fave thing to eat.

Sweet Corn- not ideal for the space, but might be fun, and so yummy!

Peppers (Bell or otherwise)- not a success 2 years ago, but I've learned a lot and think I could manage not to kill them this time.

Share your thoughts either by voting in the poll on the right or by leaving a comment! It's like Choose your own Adventure... garden.

Also, my hydrangea is looking a little sad, any suggestions? Other than more water could I give it some coffee or something? It needs to perk up!

Vay-Cay Recap

2011-05-31T14:20:00.006-04:00

We went to the beach for Memorial Day weekend. And while we were there... We played on a pirate ship.

Went crabbing off the end of GiGi and PaPa's dock.

Played on the beach.

Saw a circus.

Walked hand in hand.

Watched a robin take a bath.

Showed Henry a crab.

Saw a bull nose skate.

Things I Don't Need

2011-05-30T23:58:00.003-04:00

I struggle with even putting this into words.

We're working on this teaching in yoga called aparigraha. It means non-grasping. In its simplest form it's about letting go of worldly possessions. That new purse I don't need, the shoes that won't actually change my life, the table cloth, vase, toys for the kids that won't bring me happiness or inner peace but will simply serve to clutter my life.

Aparigraha is about the belief that objects can bring you happiness. Shiny new toys will not make me better or happier in any meaningful way. But my hobbies make me happy. I love yoga and I have a really great mat to practice on. Is that wrong? Making things with my hands- making art- brings me joy, it's about the process as much as it is the product. That doesn't feel wrong to me. I'm getting ready to throw a big birthday bash; I think it's okay to get ready for the event.

I need to find balance with this. I shouldn't feel guilty for the occasional craft here and there, or my new camera (birthday gift) or my new iPad (also a birthday gift). These things help me take better pictures of my kids and read blogs and articles about my interests. The items themselves don't bring me joy, but what they do makes me happy.

With the exception of food and basic toiletry supplies I can't think of anything I covet right now. I'm going to try to buy only the things I need and only the things my family needs and leave everything else behind. No impulse purchases (because in all honesty they just make me feel guilty in the end). No more extras falling into my cart at the grocery store. No more inventing an errand to run just so I can get out of the house.

I want to try this experiment where I only take what I need (what my family needs) and no more. I don't know what it will mean. I have no idea what challenges will come up along the way, but I'm going to explore this Yama and see what happens!

The View

2011-05-28T17:11:00.001-04:00

We're enjoying the view from here!

Where are you this Memorial Day weekend? What does your view look like?

Morning walk

2011-05-27T07:36:00.000-04:00

and spontaneous hand-holding.

Cheap Upgrades

2011-05-26T07:51:00.002-04:00

The couch needed some color so for $30 I picked up some fabric and re-used some old pillows and voila! New trendy pillows that match the colors of the room! Fabulous!

The dining room wall needed some interest.

A bunch of old unused picture frames, 2 cans of white spray paint, and some black and white photos.... TaDa!

I love that trying to do thins inexpensively forces me to get creative with what we already have. As an added bonus this means I'm keeping old things out of a landfill by giving them a new purpose!

Winners!

2011-05-25T22:10:00.002-04:00

AubreyLaine, you've won a gift certificate to Hobby Lobby!!

Stacy, you're the lucky winner of my Favorite Things!!

I'm contacting you via e-mail/facebook respectively. Thanks for entering, and thanks to Random.org for choosing the winners!

Walking makes all the difference

2011-05-25T07:35:00.001-04:00

Henry first walked on Mother's Day.

Jack suddenly saw him differently. He was an equal, a playmate, a buddy. Before Henry was walking Jack saw him as simply the baby. Now he refers to Henry as "My best friend" or "My brother."

It's amazing to me how one change in Henry can change everything for Jack.

p.s. Happy Birthday to me!

Water

2011-05-24T08:01:00.005-04:00

The thing with water is, when you have it it's easy to take it for granted. You could leave your tap running every time you brush your teeth and hardly notice a difference on your water bill. (If you have well water -I'm very jealous of you- and you would notice a difference on your power bill.)

You turn on your tap and have access to safe filtered water any time for any purpose. But you don't need to water the garden with drinking water. You don't need your kids to swim in drinking water. You don't need to wash your car with drinking water. But there's rarely an alternative to using water from the tap. Fortunately, now we have a choice. While it's impractical to wash my car from my rain barrel I can water the veggies and fill the kiddie pool with rain water. We put it right next to the garden to make it even easier to get the water where it needs to go.

The tomato plant likes it.The garden likes it.

The radishes like to be rinsed in it.

I love that this change is more eco friendly. I love that we're saving money (even if it's just a little bit). But I really love that this makes caring for the veggie garden even easier. No more lugging the hose out there and then needing to wind it neatly back up when I'm done. This is one of those "Why didn't we do this before?!" type of projects. It's genius!

Birthday Giveaway pt. 2

2011-05-23T12:40:00.011-04:00

Favorite Things!!! I'm not Oprah, so you're not getting an iPad. But here are 4 of my favorite things. And it's my gift to you, gentle readers. You can enter the same as before, one for a comment and bonus for being a follower. This giveaway will also close at 6:31pm this Wednesday.Voila!This Hazelnut flavored Agave Sweetener is my favorite addition to my morning coffee. It makes me feel like I've gone to a fancy coffee shop but it's a natural healthy sweetener and it tastes amazing and it's more budget friendly than a 4 dollar-a-day coffee habit! So in an effort to bring my addiction to you, I'd like you to have one.
I love having a sweet treat on hand. I like these Ginger Candies because they're yummy and comparatively speaking, good for you. And if the kids try to pilfer from my stash I don't feel guilty about sharing because they contain natural ingredients.
Speaking of the kids, this is a great "It's time to leave the playground/ Go to the store /Finish your meal bribe" And they're made of natural ingredients! Because they're gummy they take a while to eat which is an added bonus for me!

Last but not least: an infinity scarf I crocheted from my own made-up pattern. It's aqua-ish, sea foam-ey turquoise. Made from naturally dyed cotton. (I'm allergic to wool.)

Don't forget to leave comment love!

Delicious

2011-05-23T07:19:00.000-04:00

Both the meal we ate and yummy cuteness of my boys!

Birthday Giveaway pt.1

2011-05-22T10:27:00.003-04:00

Today I'm kicking off my birthday week with the first of 2 giveaways. (I'm paying for this myself so, there's only two! I'm not made of money!) This first giveaway is a gift card to a favorite store of mine. It has all my favorite things: Crafty things, Decorative things, Gardening things, Fabric things and even Painting things!

Hobby Lobby!

I'm giving a $10 gift card to a loyal reader who leaves a comment.

This is also a not so covert way for me to see how many readers I actually have.

*So you can get 1 entry for leaving a comment (and if you are so inclined tell me something you like to get at Hobby Lobby).

*And you can get 1 additional entry for following my blog publicly (please leave another comment saying as much).

Entries close at 6:31 pm on May 25th. Because I will be 30 at EXACTLY that moment.

If you are my parents, in-laws or husband you are not eligible to win- but I love you anyway!

A thoughtful comparison of first child to second child.

2011-05-20T07:42:00.000-04:00

When I was pregnant with my first child- I read every parenting book I can get my hands on. Second child- I was re-reading Twilight.

First child- I ate for two, or maybe three. Second child- I wised up ate healthy but it was almost always grab-and-go.

When I drove home from the hospital with the first child I rode in the back of the car next to the baby... just in case he needed me. Something catastrophic could have happened. With the second child I rode in front because it's much more comfortable, and they're fine!

When the first baby cries I jumped and sometimes I felt like my skin was electrified- because my ability as a mother was in direct proportion to how often my baby cried. When the second baby cried I did the best I could... cause it ain't no thang.

Every time I left the house with my first I packed everything, 5 toys, 10 diapers, 1,000 wipes, 4 changes of clothes, changing pad, snacks for me, bottles of water. Was I backpacking across the country or going to Target. Second- I forgot diapers, left the toys at home, never brought a changing pad.

With my first I was so worried about developing 'bad habits'. I didn't let him sleep in bed with me (but he only napped at the boob for the first 4 months) I tried to make him learn to fall asleep on his own, I tried to teach him, drill him, push him. With my second I snuggled him, slept with him, followed his lead.

Can I tell you something

2011-05-19T07:12:00.000-04:00

So remember when I got those 'cloth for mom' pads. I have to tell you, they are ah-mazing! I've been cloth diapering the kids from the beginning. I've been aware of (and totally not interested in) cloth pads... I mean, they call it "on the rag" for a reason. I was never interested.

I finally decided to take the plunge for three reasons 1. I found a product that sounded like it was right for me and for a price I felt was fair. 2. I was tired of needing to run out and buy 'feminine products' for myself every month, and I was tired of always running out at the WRONG time. 3. I read about a mom who noticed she had an, um, embarrassing reaction to the chemicals in a certain brand of pads and I thought 'that sounds kinda familiar'.

Seriously, it's not gross. Really, it's not. We (unless you're my husband, father or brother... sorry guys) have all had to rinse out underwear or sheets or even our fave pair of jeans because of ::ahem:: blood. This is no different. A little rinse and then toss them in the laundry with everything else. My period is LIGHTER now... apparently the going theory is that the chemicals in tampons and pads draw out the tissue and actually cause women t bleed harder & longer. I have less cramps... same theory, because chemicals are evil (or something.)

I'm totally converted. I went from "I already cloth diaper, what more do you people want from me?!?!" to "Oh my fluffy decadence how have I not tried this before?!?!"

So I tried to refrain from tagginf this as "cloth diapering" but, to be honest it kinda fits.

Boots

2011-05-18T06:57:00.000-04:00

I now have hiking boots. I am breaking them in by trying to walk 3 miles (or more) every day that the weather cooperates. Getting ready for our trip to the Grand Canyon is kinda fun!

Harvest!

2011-05-17T07:48:00.001-04:00

We are now officially enjoying fresh veggies from our garden! I've had a few radishes here and there but now the lettuce is bountiful enough to enjoy as well. So here's the thing with lettuce- even if you get it from a store, if you want it to keep longer store it in water in a plastic or glass case. This means you've already washed the whole stash so all you have to do is grab a handful and shake it off. I HATE when lettuce goes bad before I can eat it all and I love this sollution!

If you grow your own lettuce and you want to keep the plant alive you can pluck individual lettuce leaves and the plant will just continue to grow more and more leaves for your culinary enjoyment!

I like to look back at early pictures to see how the garden is changing.

Onions- not ready yet. Radishes- ready a few at a time. Lettuce I- delicious. Lettuce II-and nutritious!

The new playroom

2011-05-16T07:06:00.000-04:00

Our deck has become another playroom. With the sand table and the little wading pool the boys love spending a warm afternoon out there. It's 1/2 in the sun 1/2 shaded but I wish we had the ability to have instant shade as the sun increases so for now I'm using the clothing line to make a canopy with a sheet (which I feel like was a genius idea but don't have a picture of.)

I'm now negotiating with my husband how to address the need for shade. Sail Canopy? Pergola? Umbrella? Gigantic mushroom? Any ideas? I'd like to come up with something so we can enjoy the deck all summer long, but I don't want to spend more than I have to. Help me 'sell' this idea to my frugal husband.

Eventually, all good things come to and end. Henry was NOT HAPPY to learn that playtime was over.

My boys might be scarred for life... or not.

2011-05-14T19:15:00.004-04:00

Every other night I shower with the boys. It saves me time, it saves water, and it ensures that I shower a minimum of 4 times per week. (I'm a dirty hippie.) About 6 months ago Jack noticed that Mommy didn't have the same parts as Daddy. He asked, we explained that Daddy, Jack and Henry each have a penis and Mommy has a vagina.... which technically is a vulva, but hardly anyone uses the proper terminology so who cares. After a quick explanation he's had no interest since.

So my kids see me naked 4 times a week and then sometimes they take a bath together or they shower with Daddy. Nudity isn't really a big deal around here.

There was the time earlier this week that Jack wanted to play in the little baby pool on the deck and he just stripped down and hopped in. So we had to have the conversation about how your privates are.... private... and the neighborhood doesn't need to see them. So maybe nudity should at least be a small deal. I want my kids to know there's nothing wrong with the human body. There is no reason to be ashamed... clearly I'm not if I was willing to whip a boob out in public to feed the baby.

Jack is 3 and Henry is 1. I don't believe that seeing their parents naked is going to scar them for life... yet. Like most things in my world I'm operating under the assumption that my gut, instincts, mother's intuition, Ouija board will tell me when it's time to cover up. I hope that the need for change will become evident at the same time that Jack and Henry are able to reliably shower without constant supervision ensuring that they actually get clean. Until then I will continue to shower (with my boys) with a respectable regularity.

So what do you do in your house? What are the 'rules' regarding nudity?

From Friday

2011-05-13T13:27:00.000-04:00

with love.

30 Years in 30 lines... or less.

2011-05-11T22:26:00.000-04:00

30 is coming. And I'm so ready!

Don't get me wrong my 20's have been a blast. Perhaps too much of a blast, more on that later.

My first 10 years the goal was just growing up. I wanted to be bigger, older and more independent. And by the time I was 10, I'd certainly accomplished everything I set out to do.

Getting to 20 was.... rough. 10-15 was painfully awkward. Braces. Acne. Training bra... oh wait, still wearing one of those. Shaving my legs- which you should NEVER EVER do dry! 15-18 was all about rebellion. Be home at 11. 11:15 (I know, I was such a bad ass.) Then there was college. I felt really alive like the world was my oyster. There was so much to learn about the world, about myself.

And then there I was in my 20's. And I was trying to find myself... until I found my Husband (at 24.) I have to say, the only thing more exhausting than spending my teens trying to find and keep a boyfriend was the energy I exerted in my 20's trying to find myself. Looking inward is always harder than looking out.

But as my 20's draw slowly to a close I see myself, I see my husband, I see my kids. And life is good.

I will always change, always evolve, but something feels so warm and comfortable about settling in to who I am, sitting back and enjoying the sweet life I have.

30, brace yourself. Here I come!

The Birthday Countdown begins!

2011-05-11T07:07:00.001-04:00

I got an Olympus E-PL1 for my 30th Birthday. Lucky for me my husband wants to be sure it's on time for May 25th! Today the doorbell rang and the nice man from UPS handed me a package. So purely in the interest of being a careful consumer ;-) I spent an hour or two playing with it. You know, just to be sure!

I tested out some of the settings like this one called 'pin hole'. And this one 'soft focus'.

And this one 'pop art'.

The kids were willing to pose.

And pose.

Poser.

We got a lens adapter so all of my husband's fancy lenses will work on my (not film) camera.

In vaguely related birthday news I'm thinkin about doing a little giveaway for my birthday week to try and get some people to come out of the woodwork. I'm thinking about making a criteria to enter becoming an official follower. Fair? Not fair? I know there are probably people getting updates using RSS, but it would be ever so lovely if I knew you were reading me. (Obviously, any giveaway I do is totally funded by me or items made be me... or both.... hmmmm...) What do you think?

I made that!

2011-05-10T07:22:00.001-04:00

Hanging clothes and diapers on the line to dry is great. Trying to juggle clothes pins and wet clothes is not. Move over June Cleaver! Problem solved.

Perfect!

Cold at night while watching TV?

No problem!

Okay, I didn't exactly make this but I grew it and it was delicious!!

These boots are made for walkin'

2011-05-09T09:10:00.002-04:00

But since I don't own a pair of hiking boots I have to go buy some.

Why? You ask.

Because I'm going to do a whole lot of walking come August!

The Nerd-tastic Husband and I are going to Las Vegas. We're driving to the Grand Canyon and hopefully hiking all the way down to the bottom (maybe camping down there) and then hiking all the way back up!

That's a hard trip to take with kids! You say.

Yes, it is, that's why we're leaving them in the capable hands of their grand parents for 7 days!! SEVEN! I cannot wait!!!

Things happen on a holiday

2011-05-08T15:42:00.003-04:00

Well, there's something about a holiday and important things happening. Apparently Henry has been reading the blog and noticed I was making fun of him for not walking. He decided to prove us wrong. After only taking a step here and there today he finally decided he could do more!

My baby is growing up!

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T07:37:00.000-04:00

I hope your day is as lovely as I expect mine will be!

I'm starting things off with a lie-in. Lovely!

I'm not sure how I feel about this

2011-05-07T07:13:00.000-04:00

Henry is so determined to climb things that he crawls down the stairs just so he can climb back up. He will push toys over to taller objects so he can use them to climb. And here he is showing off his Karate Kid climbing and balancing skills.

Today in an act of desperation I let Jack play on the Wii for the first time. He bowled 10 frames and then bicycled around the Wii Resort Island (as seen here) about a million times. Seriously, he was so good at the bicycling that he unlocked a bunch of new levels. How is that possible?! I'm all for intuitive gaming but this is just WILD!

Seeing my children for who they are.

2011-05-06T07:41:00.000-04:00

Early in parenting I spent entirely too much time thinking about who my kids were not. I was always comparing Jack to his peers. Who had a longer attention span, who was a better sleeper, who walked faster, who had more teeth (never Jack, poor kid). I was not at any point blind to his more charming qualities, but I was preoccupied with thoughts of what needed to be changed.

I felt like I did so many things to create the more difficult parts of Jack's personality (you know, the parts that mirror my own with frightening precision). He's controlling, and bossy and he used to be a terrible sleeper and he never once was willing to take any kind of bottle. I always assumed it was the result of something I did, or perhaps something I didn't do. How naive. To think I had that much power. I've taken enough psychology courses to understand the principals of nature vs. nurture, but I assumed that nurture was the more crucial part. Silly me.

Before Henry was born I was going to do things differently! I was going to make sure to change all the mistakes I made the first time. I don't know when it started but it's like someone cleaned the window and the view is finally clear. Turns out Henry was just an entirely different baby. Sure, I did some things differently... but it was never because I was determined to alter the course of his life. He was different so I changed for him, it was merely from necessity.

It seems so clear now. They are each so unique and the universe in its infinite wisdom made me capable of parenting them differently. It's what they need, it had nothing to do with me.

Honestly, I was so worried about having two boys. I was so worried that they'd be so similar that I wasn't going to feel like I was getting the variety as a parent. I was worried they'd be so different that I'd have a favorite. It seemed like these things would be magnified by having two of the same gender.

Which do I like more: the beach or the mountains? Both, neither, it depends on my mood.

Henry is laid back, happy, snuggly and unlikely to overreact. He's also emotionally needy, cranky as hell when he first wakes up, and unwilling to feed himself if he's feeling crabby.

Jack is filled with infectious enthusiasm, he's imaginative, independent and empathetic. He's also bossy, frighteningly independent, wild and impulsive.

There isn't a thing about them I would change (not that I could if I wanted to). I finally see them for who they are. They are unique and special and beautiful. Truly seeing them as they are also allows me to finally see myself.

I'm just enjoying the view.

Cinco de Mayo

2011-05-05T21:30:00.002-04:00

Nerdy Husband loves to grill.

Well, that's awkward.

2011-05-04T22:39:00.002-04:00

One morning after breakfast was finished I was cleaning up the dishes (and drinking some kombucha). The boys climbed up the stairs Jack was talking about space ships and Henry was happy just to be included.

I hear Jack running from room to room and I hear Henry crawling at warp speed (walk, already, would ya?). Then a few minutes pass. I've cleaned up the kitchen and finished my kombucha. I listen to see what they're doing.

::silence::

I remember the last time there was silence. ::eye twitch::

Well, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice... Mommy's an idiot. I run upstairs and find Jack and Henry giggling in my bedroom with 'the grown-up-and-married-adult drawer' open and the massage oils lying on the floor. Jack says to me "I put this one (lavender massage oil) on Henry's legs. They were dirty and I cleaned them."

Grrrrrreat.

The good news is none got on the rug, floors, walls or curtains. So there's that.

Hold the phone!

2011-05-03T22:06:00.005-04:00

Henry is excited to report we have our first signs of radishes! It's so much fun to grow things, watching plants evolve from nothing. It's also really exciting to see Jack understand exactly where vegetables come from.

Pick Your Own season is fast approaching, our local farm now has a tentative date set of May 27th and the first day of the season. I already have the pectin ready for strawberry jam.

Cannot. Wait.

This Momentous Occasion

2011-05-03T06:28:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Jack and Henry went downstairs by themselves, and played. Alone, together.

I'm kinda beaming with pride- Henry can safely go down the stairs backwards by himself and the boys are playing well together more and more every day! (In case you're wondering, Henry still isn't walking. Troublemaker.)

Transformed

2011-05-02T07:27:00.000-04:00

Candle holder.

Deconstructed.

Becomes a light.

I saw the 'vase' in the store and thought that it would be perfect... if it were a light. Surprisingly, it took very little time to change it up- careful planning, but the actual work (done by myself and my dad) didn't take too long!

Veggie Goodness

2011-04-30T06:47:00.001-04:00

I always love a new vegetarian experiment (though technically the pasta salad is pescetarian) so here's what we have: Tuna pasta salad with whole wheat pasta, carrot, spinach, and tuna (mixed with olive oil mayo). The hot dog, which has been Jack's obsession for the last few days, was found by Jack in the veggie section at the grocery store- it's a Light Life Smart Sausage in a whole wheat bun. It was amazing! Matt says it would be great for bangers and mash, Jack and Henry both loved it. Jack got high-fives from daddy for his great find at the store!

Recently we also made vegetarian BBQ 'Chicken' pizza. The trick is mixing pizza sauce with equal parts BBQ sauce before adding the cheese, veggies and saytan flavored like chicken. This was also a huge hit. So good.... drool.

We're not one for recipes (in case you haven't guessed). The pizza crust comes from a recipe but everything else it just "however much looks good". Unless it's cookies- there is one law in this house. Don't mess with cookies. Follow the recipe; don't try to be a hero. Think of the children.

I'm like, totally Wonder Woman!

2011-04-29T08:33:00.002-04:00

I'm amazed at my ability to look past housework. I have a super-human ability that allows me not to see a pile of dirty diapers, 3 loads of laundry, dirty dishes and dirty bathrooms. My super power even allows me to see the gallon of milk as half full (instead of nearly empty).

Today is clearly a housework kind of day.

Humbug!

When the day starts at 7

2011-04-28T08:09:00.003-04:00

You can get a lot done! Tuesday we made an early run to Lowes for some mulch.
Wednesday we were at The Stone Store at 8:15.
Wednesday's naptime was spent digging a 'trench' and placing the stones (hello, sweat!)
This morning I mulched before the rain starts (because judging by the sky it's going to happen any second!)

Edging the garden with rocks was something I've wanted to do for a while but I figured it would cost an arm and a leg... nope. 66 dollars.

How does my garden grow?

2011-04-27T06:43:00.000-04:00

Awesomely! Thanks for asking! Hanging off the railing of the deck we have a window box with cilantro, basil and rosemary. (Just planted yesterday.)

The veggies are looking good! From where they were before to how they look now! I've had to thin the radishes and both lettuce varieties. (And it looks like I'll have to thin the lettuce again soon!)

Maybe he should be sick more often...

2011-04-26T13:42:00.002-04:00

It's not that I wish my husband ill health, but while he was home sick he managed to build a gate for the deck. I cannot tell you how excited I am about this! It's going to make lazy summer afternoons relaxing on the deck much more relaxing!

I've always loved having access to the yard from the deck but now that access is toddler friendly. I think it might be time for a deck party!

The rest of our Easter awesome-ness

2011-04-25T16:26:00.005-04:00

Instead of having a bunch of posts all week about our Easter Vacation (because we really did so much) I'm going to give you one monster blog with a bunch of pics of everything we did. The egg hunt in historic Berlin, MD is serious business. Just ask Jack.

Henry wanted in on the fun too.

Henry was a snuggle-monster the whole vacation. Stealing a snuggle from anyone or anything who'd stay still long enough.

On Sunday morning we hunted for eggs inside

and out.

Then we wandered down a country lane.

We took a family pic. (We missed you, Daddy!)

We marveled at our Easter egg creations (crayon shavings sprinkled over just hard boiled, and thus hot eggs).

Jack's egg close up. So cool!

Then we went to the beach.

Beach on Easter Sunday? Awesome!

It was warm enough for a sundress!

Sleeping arrangelments

2011-04-24T16:38:00.001-04:00

leave something to be desired. This is my bed.

This is the kitchen floor.

It's the little things

2011-04-24T08:44:00.005-04:00

The hole punchers were quite the source of entertainment for Jack.

The window looking out at the fish pond and the river is a huge hit with Henry.

For the record- I would love to have balanced the colors a little better in these photos but I can't because my husband messed with my computer and now Photoshop is gone :-(. I didn't wait to edit them first because A. I have a strong need to be instantly gratified and B. I feel bad that my aforementioned husband is missing all the fun so I want him to feel included.

Hopefully I'll post again later today... we'll see.

We're Training for Everest

2011-04-23T15:34:00.003-04:00

I think it's time to hike our local 'Mountain.' As much a mountain as Maryland has at any rate.

Also I'm really considering building a climbing wall in the basement. I wonder if my husband would go for it or if he would tell me to go fly a kite. Place your bets now.

Vote of No Confidence?

2011-04-22T17:21:00.002-04:00

I think the boys don't trust my driving. When we got in the car to leave they insisted on wearing their helmets.

Oh, ye of little faith.

We are having a BLAST! (Which is good because now the husband will not be joining us because he's siiiiiick.) Yesterday we climbed up a cliff, today we went on a walrus adventure, tomorrow we're going to a Easter Festival, and Sunday we're celebrating Easter. Score!

Hittin' the road

2011-04-20T22:26:00.003-04:00

I'm leaving! I'm driving with the kids to GiGi & PaPa's house. We're leaving tomorrow; Daddy's staying home to work for a few days. Wish me drama-free travels!

My husband's Nerd card

2011-04-19T00:08:00.001-04:00

has been revoked.

Don't worry, dear friends, he hasn't suddenly become too cool for school. He effed with my computer. Complete system uninstall and reinstall. What has been lost? He remembered the photos, the videos the angsty poetry I wrote in college, even the lit review I wrote in graduate school. He forgot my favorites all of them. Every blog, every online store, every social media network, even the news. My soul is dying a little bit.

It's fitting that my assignment in yoga this month is to seek balance in my life in an area that it out of balance. I'm so addicted to the interwebz it's not even funny. Perhaps the universe is trying to facilitate my balance seeking. I still intend to post, but I'm going to scale back how many blogs I read and how much time and when I read them.

If you're thinking to yourself "Don't stop reading my blog." I'm not talking about you- these blogs are ones I'm not subscribed to, they don't provide my life or family with any enrichment, and I never comment on them. They won't even miss me and I hope I don't miss them either.

My husband is NOT off the hook for breaking my touch pad mouse. Daddy fail.

Yoga boga banana fanna fo foga

2011-04-18T07:51:00.008-04:00

I don't know about you but I had an AH-mazing weekend! This was another yoga weekend for me. All the teachers in training co-taught a yoga class at the studio. The class was free to family and friends and open to the community. The turnout was great!

While I was 'being all yoga' on Saturday the Husband took the boys to a Sesame Street party! It made such an impression on Jack that he's still talking about the Elmo cake. Then on Sunday I was able to stop into my friend's baby shower on the way to yoga (and to teach my first official class).

By the end of the day on Sunday I was tingly and giddy from all the excitement of the weekend. Then to top it off Henry slept through the night totally uninterrupted (which he hasn't done since he got his cold 2 weeks ago). Score!

This will be awesome with Tiki Lights

2011-04-14T14:41:00.005-04:00

I don't live in the country. There aren't acres of trees or amber waves of grain surrounding my charming 1900's farmhouse (covetous). But that won't stop me! Power tools- Check! Able-bodied, feminist, power tool wielding wife- Check! 3 flag holders (brass color) & 3 eyes (silver color)- Check! Napping baby- Check!Assembly under way.

With dowel rod in place. The top of each dowel has another smaller eye drilled into the top so I can string up the clothes line... or party lights!Ready to rock and roll! Freshly washed diapers reporting for drying!They look so happy in a row. Our little slice of suburbia- simplified.

In related news- I was walking by the veggie garden to take this picture and the onions are starting to come up! Squee!

ZOMGarden!

2011-04-13T07:03:00.002-04:00

Nearly everyone I know in real life and everyone I know through the interwebs is excited that it's springtime. Plants store up so much energy over the winter. They're patient, unless they are my daffodils which came up in November, but I digress. They let energy build in their roots and seeds and bulbs until one day they decide it's time to start releasing the energy- it's time to grow.

We do it too. We stay in and keep warm and bide our time until the weather beckons us to spring forth from our houses. "Come out and play!" It calls to us. So we get out our spade... or a hoe... and we show love to the Earth for warming up and inviting us out. We put plants in the Earth and we watch them and water them and love them while they grow.

Or maybe it's just me. I am a crazy hippie after all.

Spring is fun because the kids get out and we get to play and we feel the warm sun on our faces, but there's something more than that for me. It seems to go deeper. Every day or two when I go to check on the veggies and they're growing bigger every day I do a little happy dance and get a little gitty (literally).

The spring onions (far left) haven't popped up yet but they have a longer germination and they're more bulb-like I'm not too worried.

So tell me, what are you growing? In a pot or in a field, it's time! Happy growing!

Lasagna recipe

2011-04-12T08:01:00.000-04:00

I'm not shy about my love of Trader Joes. So I wanted to share this yummy delight with all of you. This entire meal is made by things from TJs... if only they sold 2 Buck Chuck in Maryland... I start with a thin layer of sauce. Then add a layer of noodles, then I add a little of everything else. Then more noodles and more of everything else. And again, and again until the pan reaches max capacity. There's no measuring no mixing, I just throw it together and throw it in the oven.I will add this: I recommend using 1/2 the bag of spinnach and 1/2 the soy chorizo because otherwise it's a lot of spinach and the chorizo is spicy and can be kinda overwhelming if you use the whole thing. I'm also toying with using the fire roasted veggies instead of the menage a trio because the fire roasted has an amazing flavor. Minimal effort, credit for making a home cooked meal, points for healthy options, and maximum flavor.

Yoga business

2011-04-11T07:36:00.001-04:00

This is where I meditate. I meditate at night, before reading in bed. Ideally I'd love to meditate in the morning but my mornings aren't predictable enough for that, not right now. But here's where the magic happens.

I ordered some yoga supplies (before there was any major worry about a furlough). Now I'm ready to teach- I'm already teaching some neighbors... but now I'm ready for more! Bring it on!

My project for my yoga class is called Mommaste- yoga for moms. Mostly women do yoga anyway and yoga is so much about parenting in so many ways so I'm developing my project and my teaching style geared specifically for moms. Children will always try to bend us to do their will, yoga can make us more flexible.

I'm still doing teacher training. That will last until November, but I can teach now I just need to be clear with my students that I'm still in training, I'm not yet certified.

We didn't plan to buy a rug

2011-04-10T18:32:00.003-04:00

We went to Home Depot this weekend to pick up the last things we needed to make a clothes line. While we were there we were wandering the isles and we happened upon a stack of area rugs "Starting at $197." Now the idea that you could get any 8'x10' rug for less that $200 is insane. Ikea doesn't sell them this cheap! I just figured it would be a stack of tragic rugs they haven't been able to sell since they made them in 1978. But the idea of a deal made me curious so I took a peek. About 20 rugs down one caught my eye. I could only see one tiny corner but what I could see made my spidey senses tingle. I didn't have a particular rug in mind, but I knew I wanted it to continue our warm and neutral decor. I liked that the pattern was large and graphic, and I liked that the chocolate brown background would match the chocolate brown curtains. I also liked that the other color was similar to the color of the floors, I love those floors and I didn't want a rug to out shine them.

You might notice the pattern on the rug speaks to the pattern on the comforter. Genius!! I tell you!

So when I saw this rug I liked it; I liked it a lot. I held my breath when I looked at the price, hoping that it would be 'good enough' not to pass up. Finally I found the corner with the tag, and I turned it over: 197. Really?! Like, as in dollars? Dig this baby out of the pile, put in on the cart and lets get the hell out of here before they change their mind! Score!

It's not the 1950's

2011-04-09T19:31:00.004-04:00

But maybe it should be. Well, not exactly the 1950's... I have no desire to birth children doped up and tied to a bed, nor do I want to spend 8 hours doing 3 loads of laundry(sometimes it feels like I do that anyway), and I definitely don't want my husband to expect to come home to his easy chair while I fuss about getting his slippers and brandy. I don't want to go totally retro. But it would be nice to re-gain a few things.

I learned how to use my sewing machine thanks to YouTube. When we're about to tackle a reno project turn to Google first. We've also often turned to our handy parents for help and advice. When I first got pregnant with Jack I read, and Googled and reality showed as much information as I could but I still felt totally unprepared.

If I had been born into a different time I would have been expected to help raise my younger siblings. Dedicate my time in school to learning how to darn socks, hem trousers, change diapers, care for babies, cook dinner and balance a checkbook. I'm sure I would have also learned English and History and Geometry but there would have been little expectation that I would have gone on to use that information in any real way.

I hadn't held but one baby one time before I was handed my own little Jack for the first time. Reading books did not prepare me for parenting. The first few weeks, maybe even months were chaos. I tried to trust my instincts but I felt like I was all over the place. I also felt that I should have been better, been embracing motherhood, felt more connected to the earth. (This is perhaps the greatest piece of information that isn't able to be passed on by words. Sleep when the baby sleeps. They grow so fast. To see that at first, it's a scary and beautiful chaos and then we evolve and the baby evolves and we grow together and become what we thought naively that we would instantly be.)

It can't be taught through books and videos and diagrams. Imagine learning how to drive a car by reading a book and now imagine you've never even been a passenger in one before. Hello! Crash course?

There has been a beautiful evolution of society; and I'm not complaining about what we've gained. But along with the progress of virtual communities, information exchange and online shopping things have been lost too. Knowledge gained by helping raise our siblings and learn about child care in school has been lost.

Quite a bit of experiential knowledge has been lost but I don't see any to be as significant as passing on how to care for children.

Like any good feminist I hope my husband and I can pass on as much knowledge about car and computer maintenance as we pass on about child care and cooking.

He's got rhythm

2011-04-08T07:33:00.000-04:00

Siiiiiiick

2011-04-07T10:01:00.003-04:00

It's unfortunate that parents don't really get sick days.

I'm sick. It's not a bad cold, just congestion and a sore throat, but it would be great if I could nurse myself back to health without also needing to meet the needs of others. I hope the husband makes some yummy soup for dinner tonight and that I'm all better soon!

How does my garden grow?

2011-04-05T12:10:00.003-04:00

When we planted veggies in our garden we broke the rules and planted outside before Mother's Day. I mean, really, what do farmers do?! So I was thrilled to see signs of life out there!!