Sometimes I Love the Internet

Seriously, sometimes the Internet is awesome! (Sometimes it's like a heroin addiction, but that's another topic for another day).

So I posted and was all "Woe is me," which I do because it helps me process and let go of my own negative feelings. But I also share the bad stuff because I get e-mail messages from strangers, Facebook messages from friends and comments from readers all saying the same thing "I feel the same way, I'm thinking about getting help, thank you for sharing your story." More than hearing myself talk I like knowing that my words are reaching people and teaching them or supporting them, it's a pretty sweet deal.

Ahywho, so Melissa commented on my blog and was like "Sounds like Herx" it never in a million years would have occurred to me that the emotional symptoms could be caused by a system wide reaction like that. I love that sometimes I help people because of the interwebs and sometimes people help me. I also know that 21 days isn't always successful in treating Lyme so I'm watching out, and being careful, but if I have to go back on doxy I'd rather do it in the fall so I'm content to drag my feet for now. I digress, so I was feeling down and then the next morning I woke up and felt fine. Like totally, completely, I need to clean my house, and wear make up, and exercise, because I've really let it all go, fine! My friends have good things going on and I'm content in my own life so I can genuinely be all squee for them. Cancer still sucks a big one, but I haven't gone to Hogwarts, I'm just detoxing so I can't make that one go away.

My dining room table is still a mess right now, but that's because we just finished dinner homemade pizza, not frozen- another indicator that I have successfully removed my head from my ass. But as it turns out my head wasn't where I thought it was, I was detoxing. Epsom salt bath, twisting yoga poses, drink lots of water, here I come!!

All of a sudden I'm the pinnacle of productive living and sanity and my husband is lazy and coo-coo for cocoa puffs by comparison. It's not his fault, he's empathetic, I may have dragged him down a bit, but I can also lift him up. I'm cool like that.

I feel like I'm beind stalked.

I came home from dropping Jack off at camp and I found this little a-hole hanging out at my front door. Great. Deer tick. Just great.

This photo was taken about 3 seconds before I grabbed a knife and cut it in half. I know yoga teaches non-violence (and I'm trying to be non-violent), but eff that! I make an exception for ticks, especially ones that carry Lyme.

Okay, just one more post about Lyme

I'm so pissed right now. Lyme and I are hardcore frenemies. I get it, I got myself bitten by a tick, I suppose I have to pay the consequences for the dirty little insect.

Yesterday afternoon the PA who I met with who was smart and awesome called me to give me the results of my blood test:
" Hi this is so-and-so from the doctors office I'm calling to tell you your lime disease test is very positive."
So faster than your can say drug runner I was on a shiny and new antibiotic called doxycycline (which is part of the Cipro family.) It's used to treat acne, so I guess that's a score, but it's this drugs only redeeming quality... that and treating the Lyme but when I tell you about the side effects you'll see things my way too.

I cannot go in the sun for the next 21 days because of extreme photo sensitivity. I have two boys and it's summer time, why not just take us to Disney world and force us to stand longingly at the gate day after day. I'm not allowed to have anything with calcium within 2 hours of taking the drug. So you know that cup of coffee in the morning, it's going to be black or else I will get none at all. Wtf@!gbrt&? Take the kids for ice cream after dinner? No can-doosville, baby. Yogurt for breakfast, orange juice with calcium? Wrong again. I can't have any vinegar, like, at all. There goes my 2 bottle a day vinegar habit. More like I can't have any yummy and probiotic kombucha, none at all for 21 days. Bummer. And the nail in the cofin? No booze, not even a little bit, none at all. So first we're going to take away my reasons for living and then we're going to take away a time-honored means of coping in desperate situations? That's just effed up.

This is clearly several problems all rolled into one big suck-fest. But all problems are solvable if you break them down. So far we've come up with non-dairy creamer. Any additional suggestions to maintain some normalcy during this PITA time will be mucho appreciated!

Medicinal marijuana? Not appropriate? Ah well, it was worth a shot. Then at least I can party on the 4th with everyone else....

This post is brought to you by the awesomeness of antibiotics.

I wanted to show a progression of the tick bite site, so here are the photos (taken each morning after breakfast... whether I was up to eating it or not).

Day 1: No Photo. It looked exactly like a mosquito bite. Who takes a pic of a mosquito bite? The bite was noticed in the morning. Fever started in the early afternoon 100/101. Day 2: Swollen and pinkish. Fever, all day, high 102.

Day 3: Black plague of death, run away! Run away! Fever all day, high 104. First doctor's appointment, a total fail.

Day 4: Diagnosed! Bulls eye shape, inner ring purple like a bruise, outer ring pink/red with a clear, meaning obvious, ring. Fever, low, 100 in the morning, none during the middle of the day, high 102 in the evening. (First day of antibiotics, 500mg Clarithromycin, taken morning and night.)

Day 5: Bigger in surface area but the swelling is starting to go down (as is the tenderness.) No fever morning or afternoon, fever spiked in early evening at 102. (Second day of antibiotics.)

Day 6: Distinct ring disappearing. No fever at all. (Third day of antibiotics.)

Day 7: Bruise spreading, tenderness almost gone. No fever, again! (Fourth day of antibiotics.)

Day 8: Today. Bruise and redness nearly gone! No fever (so far) but I'm thinking the rest of the day is going to be fine. To prove it I'm going to go to the mall, just for a quick trip. (Fifth day of antibiotics.)

Hopefully this will be my last post about Lyme Disease, other than the occasional anecdotal reference: "Hey, remember that one time I had Lyme Disease?"

Couch Potatoes

The scene around these parts has been pretty similar the last few days. Usually Mommy is perched on the couch behind the boys and we're all watching Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. (Which is not nearly as good as the book but is certainly very entertaining.) Today Henry got upgraded to First Class after he slammed his mouth (twice) into something and started spitting blood. Just a cut on his gums, but it seemed to warrant some special treatment, and he seemed to appreciate that.

Who knew that I was going to be all "TV is not that evil, in fact, it's a part of life; Lets move on" and then WHAM! I'm sick and stuck on the couch choosing show after show and movie after movie because I can't do much more than that.

But this isn't the way life is in this house, and it will change again, soon?

TV isn't all that bad, sometimes it's downright necessary.

Yoga and Lyme Disease

Since the onset of symptoms the hardest thing to do has been to get out of bed in the morning. Not because I'm sad or worried or unmotivated, but because no matter how slowly I start moving it seems I always feel dizzy, have a skull splitting headache, and the bite site (on my left leg) throbs so badly I have to limp until the blood starts to flow normally.

This morning I decided that enough was enough. I was going to do something to hopefully stop these symptoms. The first thing I did was to lay in bed for 5 minutes just taking physical inventory. Nothing was hurting more than usual, I didn't feel particularly disoriented, just tired and achy (oh, the achy joints!)

I took a few sips of water (which is always on my bedside table at night, right now.) Breathed deeply for a few slow breaths (like, maybe 5 or 10.)Modified Mountain Pose. I'm just activating the muscles in my arms and legs. Feet are flexed. Palms face the ceiling. Hold while taking 2-4 comfortable and deep breaths

Bridge Pose. Legs and arms are active. Butt is not clenched. Knees are hip distance apart (not touching and not splayed to the side.) Hold while taking 1-3 comfortable and deep breaths.

Knees-to Chest Pose. Gently hug knees towards the chest. Feet are flexed and active. Hold while taking 1-3 gentle deep breaths.

Reclining Big Toe Pose. Hands are gently pulling on the leg while the leg is gently pushing back into the hands. "Resting" leg is active, foot is flexed. Repeat on other side. Hold while taking 2-4 gentle deep breaths.

Shoulders on the Back (not officially a pose). Arms are stretched at shoulder height and muscles are active. Shoulders hug onto the back as arms slide deeper into the shoulder sockets. Repeat 3-5 times holding the pose while taking 1-2 deep comfortable breaths.

Modified Eagle Pose. Arms cross right over left (and then repeat placing left over right) hands are active, palms face away from one another. Legs and feet are active. Hold on each side while taking 1-3 deep comfortable breaths. Seated Staff Pose. Spine is straight, shoulders hug onto the back. Leg muscles are active, knees are not hyper extended, feet are flexed and active. Hold while taking 5-10 gentle deep breaths.

Easy Seated Pose. Normally a yoga practice starts with this pose, but when your joints ache and you are fatigued and your brain feels like it might burst from your skull this pose is challenging enough to be the final pose of the practice. I'm sitting in a crisscross applesauce like position. One foot is placed in front of the other so the ankles aren't stacked and feet are active. My sit bones are grounded into the.... mattress. (Normally, I would say Earth.) My spine is straight and perpendicular to the ground (allowing for a slight curve in the lumbar or lower back). Head is in line with the spine. Hold while gently taking 10 deep breaths.

Finally I put my feet on the floor for the first time this morning. I didn't feel the rush of blood to my bite site and the familiar throb. Pleasantly absent! I waited 30 seconds before standing. Still no debilitating headache. I stood, walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, feeling almost normal.

This means the antibiotics are working and perhaps the yoga is working as well.

Never underestimate the power of a yoga practice. No matter how strange looking and modified it is!

My Survival Kit

Also, I'm taking some crazy antibiotics.

My weirdest symptom is a total lack of appetite. But that's probably because I can brush my teeth 100 times and my mouth still tastes awful! So food, tastes awful too. Which really sucks because I have a deep DEEP love for food.

When life gives you Lyme disease...

...you make limeade, of course! (I did have some limeade today, BTW.) Thursday.

Friday.

Saturday.

More on that later. So, all you mommies out there be sure to check the kiddos for ticks. I never saw a tick, so if you see a welt and it grows and grows go to the doctor. Promise?

P.S. Today my fever is essentially gone and my aches are starting to go away, but the pain at the back of my knee and in my swollen lymph gland is increasing. But I'd take a bum leg over delerious with fever anyday.

So any home remedies, positive thinking or other help I can get will be much appreciated!

Lets play a game called name that illness

I believe I may have been bitten by a spider and consequently poisoned. I feel like I'm assembling random clues because I don't remember being bitten or coming into contact with anyone who was sick with the symptoms I now have:

*Swollen insect bite behind my left knee. The size of a ping pong ball. Red and purple in color... it's dead sexy!
*Fever of 102-104 not brought down, not all the way, by Tylenol.
*Aching joints.
*Exhausted, dizzy, lethargic, sometimes nauseous.
*Swollen lymph glands, especially the ones in my left hip area (so on the same leg as the bite.)
*No appetite. But that might be because I'm just too tired that chewing seems like it will be entirely too much work.

So what's wrong with me? Any guesses?


My appointment with my doctor is today at 3:15 or 3:45 I can't remember because my brain isn't really working. I'm really opposed to seeking professional medical advice when it isn't absolutely necessary but it appears to be absolutely necessary. I'll let you know what the diagnosis is.