Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Security Blanket

Lately I am not myself. Trying to sell my house is extremely stressful. The fact that the bank we were trying to buy a house from, once upon a time; remember that? Well, the bank is trying to keep our earnest money. Lawyers are involved. They have no legal reason to keep it, it's actually against bank policy to try to keep earnest money a situation like ours, but this particular asset manager apparently doesn't know his asset from his elbow and he's trying to keep our money. None of this is fun, none of this is pretty and I have nothing but venom to say about it.

If you think I'm not blogging as much, or calling you as much or seeing you as much there is a reason. I'm too stressed out, depressed and totally and completely hopeless about what's going on that I can barely live through the day. Getting groceries is overwhelming. I don't say this for pity, I have enough of that! I say this to explain my need for a security blanket.

I am reading Harry Potter again. I usually find myself reading it each fall. As the weather starts to get crisp I find reading a book about school, set in England to be extremely fitting. HP is more than a seasonally-appropriate read to me. When I feel down I find myself turning the pages reading about butterbeer, maroon jumpers with lions on them, secrets, and a battle of good vs. evil. It feels safe to read HP- like an old friend who always gives the best advice. Between the lines I find my own lessons, reasons to have faith, fight for what I believe in and make the right choices. Even when I don't look for deeper meaning, when I don't seek comfort; it's never just a book, it's always more.

So when you're down, aside from a margarita or a bar of chocolate what do you find comfort in?


Brenna said...

knitting makes me relax...intense physical exercise is also helpful...all those nice endorphins. maybe you need a new project to work on...a small one...I can suggest knitting!

Anonymous said...

Cleaning my house!! I know, how boring! But I think it's (1) the physical exercise, (2)the sorting/organizing of THINGS, (3)the focus of my mind on something else--and when my mind wanders to other things I just write them down and go back to cleaning, and (4)the feeling of accomplishment when I'm done. I then often find I end up with a list of things to do: either keeping me focused on things other that what is bothering me OR the list is of things to do to solve what's bothering me! Gigi

melaniet42 said... said ASIDE from a margarita! Not much. All the stress John and I have had going on during this pregnancy has been quite a challenge for me, because while I was having complications, I had NO stress relief. Usually physical exercise helps me. Dropping in on an open gym at a gymnastics place does wonders for me, though I can't make that happen often. A walk - when the weather doesn't suck. Singing in our choir at church helps relax me to - I always feel better after an hour at practice. But again, that's only a once a week thing. Usually, a couple beers makes a world of difference to take the edge off. And if I'm not sleeping well, everything is MUCH WORSE. A solid night of sleep will greatly improve my outlook I've found. Phew. I didn't realize I had so much to say today! Hope things start looking up for you guys!!!

Hedojo said...

Emily, i just had to comment. Harry Potter is also my security blanket. I think I'll probably turn to these books for the rest of my life. There is something intrinsically therapeutic about submerging yourself in the world of Harry Potter.