Saturday, May 14, 2011

My boys might be scarred for life... or not.

Every other night I shower with the boys. It saves me time, it saves water, and it ensures that I shower a minimum of 4 times per week. (I'm a dirty hippie.) About 6 months ago Jack noticed that Mommy didn't have the same parts as Daddy. He asked, we explained that Daddy, Jack and Henry each have a penis and Mommy has a vagina.... which technically is a vulva, but hardly anyone uses the proper terminology so who cares. After a quick explanation he's had no interest since.

So my kids see me naked 4 times a week and then sometimes they take a bath together or they shower with Daddy. Nudity isn't really a big deal around here.

There was the time earlier this week that Jack wanted to play in the little baby pool on the deck and he just stripped down and hopped in. So we had to have the conversation about how your privates are.... private... and the neighborhood doesn't need to see them. So maybe nudity should at least be a small deal. I want my kids to know there's nothing wrong with the human body. There is no reason to be ashamed... clearly I'm not if I was willing to whip a boob out in public to feed the baby.

Jack is 3 and Henry is 1. I don't believe that seeing their parents naked is going to scar them for life... yet. Like most things in my world I'm operating under the assumption that my gut, instincts, mother's intuition, Ouija board will tell me when it's time to cover up. I hope that the need for change will become evident at the same time that Jack and Henry are able to reliably shower without constant supervision ensuring that they actually get clean. Until then I will continue to shower (with my boys) with a respectable regularity.

So what do you do in your house? What are the 'rules' regarding nudity?

8 comments:

The Crivella Family said...

I think I read in a magazine that 4 is the magic age that you should no longer be nude in front if your kids, I think maybe to get them ready to be in school and also because of the privacy issues. That is kinda what I went by, but you will be able to tell they kinda start looking a little longer and act a little stranger.

Brenna said...

i think this is a really interesting subject. amedeo sees me naked when we're in the locker room at the pool. there isn't much choice otherwise...he can't go in the men's room alone. not sure what to do about this when he turns 4! nudity isn't a big deal at our house either. i figured he would naturally become more interested in privacy as he got older, but who knows?

melaniet42 said...

The girls see me naked all the time when it's just us. John has already started dressing in the bathroom after his shower when Jillian is around. Jilly and I have already talked briefly about privacy and I expect that conversation will be ongoing as she gets older, and then too when Jessie reaches that age. 4 sounds like a good age. We are a little less nude around here when it's all of us, since every other weekend my stepson is here. I had to start being aware of that when John and I started living together, and some of those "cover-up" habits become just that.

emk said...

All the comments kinda come together with the sign at the Columbia Association locker room facilities that say: No child 5 or over of the opposite sex may go in to the locker room. On the flip side, 5 still seems kinda young to be by oneself in a locker room....!

I haven't worried at all about parental nudity, although there is no showering of kids period over here, let alone mixed age showering! ;-)

The Bliven Family said...

I think that you'll know. I think that once kids start to realize it, they start to look at you differently and all of a sudden you are uncomfortable with them seening you naked, so trust your mother's intuition.

Kate said...

I totally would let Liam play naked on the deck at 3 (and probably even 4) so maybe I'm a little more comfortable with nudity. I do think that kids need to start understanding about nudity being private by the time you're sending them to elementary school but before then I don't really care much.

Liam hates the shower with a fiery passion because he can't stand to get water sprayed on his head so we don't shower together but if he'd tolerate it I totally would. He has seen me get dressed on more than one occasion though. As for when to stop I'm 100% sure that you'll recognize the moment when either you or Jack are getting uncomfortable and act accordingly.

Emily said...

I've been wondering about that too- locker rooms. Jack takes FOR-EV-ER to get dressed, wash his hands, brush his teeth. When the day comes that I have to send him to a men's room at the gym there's a chance I could learn to speak Chinese before he came out.

Shannon Corbeil said...

Heh heh heh!! I'm soooo not ready to answer these kinds of questions!