Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Before Henry was born my greatest fear was juggling the needs of two at once. I was, frankly, terrified of what would happen when they both needed me at once; or worse when Jack decided Mommy was busy with the baby so now's the time to get into trouble. I wasn't worried about what to do, but how I would FEEL that I couldn't help both boys at once. The reality is, it's not that bad. Yes, sometimes Henry starts to cry when I'm making Jack's sandwich or helping Jack on the potty, but it doesn't bother me like I thought it would.

I wasn't worried about taking care of a baby again. I didn't do anything to remind myself about baby care. Clearly, I forgot all about those pesky growth spurts. I wonder what else I forgot about?

I didn't rest properly at first because I was afraid of the baby blues. I had them pretty bad with Jack, so anytime I felt tired I wondered if it was just physical tiredness or if it's wasn't that I was going to start crying over nothing and not feeling attached to my new little man. Turns out, feeling tired can be just as simple as that.

Leaving the house is daunting. It's certainly not impossible for me to take both boys out by myself, but I really don't want to. Why? The scariest part is Jack is not old enough to be reliably trusted to be safe in a parking lot or store. This means I wait for Matt to come home and take just one boy out, or leave them both with Daddy while I run an errand.

I'm glad that Henry takes formula because I have no plans to pump for the times I'm out and Matt needs to feed him. Why? I don't want to ever have to think about whether or not I should pump to store, I have enough, it's gone bad and I NEVER want a call from Matt telling me that he ran out and I have to come home to provide more.

I eat more TJs ice cream sandwiches than any normal person should.

I might be back in my pre-pregnancy jeans but I am not back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I like that my midwives told me to take it easy because I now have eliminated nap-guilt.

I should drink more water, but it's hard and I use my toddler as an excuse because he's always "stealing" my water.

Ok, I confessed... so now it's your turn.


Brenna said...

I confess to eating chocolate every single day.

You sound like you're doing really well! I can understand that it is difficult to take both boys out...you'll get there!

emk said...

I confess that I encouraged my child to watch a video yesterday afternoon so I could upload all those old pics onto FB...to discover later that he'd found a bag of chocolate bars/candy and WENT TO TOWN. There were bite marks on all the opened candy bars!!

Anonymous said...

I think you are doing GREAT! Gigi

Emily said...

emk, your confession is AWESOME!