It's not good, my friends.
I've dealt with postpartum anxiety this go-round and what may or may not have been postpartum depression on the last go-round. But I digress. Basically, my mind is not quiet and I'm a bit twitchy. M'kay, so where am I going? I have been changed (I am being changed, I will be changed).
I know what you're thinking. I don't have time for that! Seriously, when my yoga instructors were talking about meditation my head was nodding but my brain was thinking "I don't have time for this." They didn't give much instruction before we started. They just said this:
- if you're uncomfortable at any point make tiny adjustments because you don't want to sit in discomfort,
- try to be present and quiet the mind- it's going to wander and that's okay but you can just gently bring it back,
- anyone who manages to sit still on a cushion for 10 minutes experiences a success.
These things seemed easy enough. So with an open (and chattery) mind we begin. Sitting with my legs crossed and my eyes closed. The most beautiful thing happens, in the studio next door there is a yoga class for 2-4 year olds going on. They're singing about liking blueberries and twinkle twinkle and laughing and playing. And I sat. And I listened. Occasionally I'd start to wander through my own thoughts but then I'd come back, reminding myself just to listen to the kids and relax and breathe. I could feel something happening, I don't know how 'transcendent' the something was but then the instructor rang the little gong and 10 minutes was up.
Ten minutes of stillness and silence has never ever ever passed so fast in my whole life! When I slowly opened my eyes I felt really calm and relaxed. We're supposed to find 10 minutes every day, and despite my initial thoughts that this is so not going to work for me I'm really excited to continue!
Did you know meditation reduces cortisol (a stress hormone) levels in the brain.
I'm totally sold!
And here's Henry, saying hello- for those of you who prefer to see pics of the bebes.
Happy Birthday, Mom!